The Aladdin Factor Full Circle

In the mid 90's I came across a book with a title that I could not pass up - it was called The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. I flipped the book over and saw this: "Anything is possible... if you dare to ask!"  The only books I had ever bought were for "fun" but I HAD to know about this and bought it on the spot. I fell in love with this book as I had never considered something so simple and yet so profound - and actually with so much depth.

Months later, Richard Fenton (now my husband and business partner) would share with me the "go for no" philosophy. Although at that time it was just a message that he would share - there was no book, training or business there at all.  The entire idea of "going for no" and "daring to ask" were things that I let drift early on.  When I am honest about it, I really just cared WAY TOO MUCH about what people thought of me, that they would like me, and so the idea of asking for anything had been entirely drummed out of me because I let it.

So after embracing 'go for no' with a passion and helping Richard write the book, we eventually decided that we were on a mission to change the perception around no, failure, and rejection. The business was born. As with most things it has taken far longer than we thought it would but we have not given up even when things have been slow or tough.

In 2009, we decided to make a movie; a documentary style DVD we called "Yes is the Destination, No is How You Get There". We drove 12,000 miles all over country interviewing top achievers about how they used hearing 'no' and failures and rejections to eventually reach their level of great success.

One of the people we interviewed was Jack Canfield, co-author of the book that changed my life and got me to start asking again. Jack's interview was, of course, amazing. He is clearly one of the great inspirational thought leaders of our time.  When we were about to leave, Jack grabbed a First Edition of "The Aladdin Factor" from his bookcase, one of three remaining, and signed the copy to us. 

My little lesson in fear

"You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations of your own mind." - Darwin P. Kingsley

One of the most disastrous moments of my life was in junior high school. Okay, actually all of junior high was disastrous but this was particularly bad.  It was "Oral Report" time and I had to chosen to speak about the dangers of smoking. I had my notes carefully written out - in pencil - on 3 by 5 note cards. Oral reports usually took days to get through. But it finally happened... "Andrea - you are up!"

My stomach lurched. I stumbled to the front of the room. My note cards were barely readable (why did I use pencil??) and seemed out of order... or were they? My voice shook as I began - steadied myself against the podium. My normal functioning shut down. It was about survival. At some point I must have finished and I do recall making my way back to my chair to the snickers of classmates. It was really, really bad. Really bad. It was also the day I decided that I would make it my life's mission to do as little public speaking as humanly possible for as long as I lived. In the years following, I would do everything within my power to avoid speaking to a group.  If you had told me then that I would make a living speaking - as in "professionally" as in - "paid" I never would have believed it. 

But time moves on and circumstances, and people, change.

I have become a speaker in part because of the passion I have for the Go for No message and the sheer thrill and joy I get from doing it now.  I am certainly not the greatest speaker you'll ever hear. (I am a lot better than I was in junior high.) I have learned that what you think you can or cannot do, what fears you think you will hold onto forever, can be changed. With a little passion, courage, and willingness to be bad for a while - life can offer amazing things when we allow it to.

Do You Stick?... Are You Glue or a Post It?

I rarely wait for anything now: Who was in that movie? I have the answer in twelve seconds via IMDB. Husband needs new pair of silk pants. I'll have them fedex-ed and here tomorrow.  Restaurant reservation after they're closed? Doesn't matter, I'll handle it on opentable.

"Patience is a virtue" used to be a popular saying. We've lost the ability to be patient. We are ready to do business NOW! When it comes to selling and sharing opportunities, most customers, clients, and prospects are not actually ready NOW. 

So it is up to us to stick around -  building our business, growing relationships - so that when people are finally ready - we will be there. The problem is that so many people just give up or are looking for that one quick hit that they don't stick around. Customers, prospects - they KNOW IT!  Which is why, they will almost always test you (and say no or put you off). Has this happened to you? And are you still around... or have you run off looking for the next easy yes? Are you glue or a post-it?

Failure Experts tout Mika Brzezinski’s new book, "Knowing Your Value” ...

Okay while we are NOT in love with her political leanings... we have to give kudos to MSNBC, "Morning Joe" co-host Mika Brzezinski's new book, "Knowing Your Value" where besides telling her own story of hard fought battles to get paid what she felt she was worth (admitting a lot of failure and missteps along the way) she actually goes out of her way to encourage women to get over their fears of rejection and being told 'no.' A skill that Mika points out, most women lack especially compared to most men. She recounts a story told to her of one woman having lunch with her boss, asking for a raise and then bursting into tears after he said "no." Women most definitely need to learn to use "no" to their advantage (Go for No!) - asking more and learning to take more no's!  This book is another step in the right direction.  Read our recent press release here: http://www.prweb.com/releases/2011/6/prweb8597579.htm

Surviving Risks and Building Confidence

In our Go for No! DVD, Jack Canfield told us, "Self confidence the way I frame it is the result of a successfully survived risk. If you want to be confident in confronting a potential "No," ask for a lot of stuff so that you get rejected enough to know you can handle it, and that you didn't die." Susan Jeffers, author of, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, explains that "At the bottom of every one of your fears is simply the fear that you can't handle whatever life may bring you."

What happens when you "Go for No" that is - when you try asking for something: resources, a sale, a favor - whatever - is that regardless of the outcome, your confidence has a chance to grow. You get the opportunity to see that you did survive, you did handle it, and really, it's not so bad.  Building your confidence, ironically is not about hoping for the easy yes, it's about dealing with and getting through those tough no's.

Learning to Fail - Wile E Coyote, Super Genius

As a kid, my favorite thing to do on Saturday morning was to wake up - 6-ish, get a huge bowl of cereal, then sit in front of the TV and watch cartoons until about noon. I loved Looney Tunes; Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, and I most of all... Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius - a creation of the late, great Chuck Jones.  The coyote was always trying to capture that elusive road runner. I loved that he was not just a genius, he was a SUPER genius and wildly clever, at least he tried to be. He would order boxes from ACME and put together elaborate systems to capture the road runner - which never worked. Ever. Most of the time they back fired so badly that he would get hurdled off a cliff or catapulted into a wall.


The coyote failed over and over and over but he never gave up. He never allowed his failures to dampen his determination. I loved that about him - even at age 7.  But - you may be thinking - the coyote never got the road runner! That's the interesting thing about success and failure.You know what they say - success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. So I like to think somewhere out there... the coyote won.