- I have a bachelor of science in Criminal Justice and wanted to be a CSI before the public really had any idea what that was.
- The average room temperature I prefer is about 80 degrees. Then I am really comfortable.
- I don't have kids, I find women who do - amazing. Don't know how they do it.
- I called George Lucas' office when I was 8 years old because I wanted to produce movies with him. I had a Corona typewriter and typed up all the movies I wanted to make; including one called X-Caribbean-Tiger-Python about - you guessed it, what happens when a Tiger and Python combine in the jungle. (It's not good.)
- The absolute last thing I ever wanted to do in my life was speak in front of people, and now, I love speaking.
- I have incredible will power for almost everything except popcorn. I would eat a stranger's popcorn in the movie theater if they offered it to me. (and I was out, which I would be.)
- I wash my hair every other day. Every day is too much.
- I can be really judgmental and I am working on it.
- I don't like heights. I now live on the 22nd floor of a highrise building.
- I have, over time, become a total wine snob.
- I am becoming, more and more, a vegetarian. Wine luckily, is not meat-based.
- I believe I have ADHD, I literally do five things at once, and I mean, literally. I have done four things as I've been composing this blog.
- I believe everyone should experience therapy - at least for a bit.
- I am pretty sure my parents have no idea what I do, really. They will never read this.
- I have never gotten a speeding ticket. The only ticket I ever got was not stopping at a stop sign and that was a travesty of justice; the cop did not see me stop. I argued and lost.
- In High School, I skipped class and forged my Mom's signature on notes. I did get caught. It was not good. It was probably also why I had to retake Geometry.
- I love cats - I have one now, named Courage.
- I am believe in supporting our troops. I think the idea that our Government doesn't put their safety and recovery when they come back, as the first priority, tragic.
- I tolerate pedicures. I really don't like anyone touching my feet.
- I love talking to people, I find everyone has an interesting story if just ask them questions. It might be why I also enjoy twitter so much.
- I lived in Orange County California for the first 25 years of my life, then LA for a couple years, then the Pacific Northwest, and now Florida. I like to experience new places.
- I've been married twice, I got married at 20 and then at 27. My second husband Richard and I spend everyday together and it's perfect.
- I have a fondness for naps - the deep, delirious kind.
- I was the Training Director for a retail pet supply company based in LA, and I loved it. I know quite a bit about the life cycle of a flea, why corn is bad for cats, and that dogs love Greenies.
- I am doing what I love and I feel really lucky and very grateful everyday.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
25 Random Things About Me
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Give the Gift of NO
"This is the book that we all wished we would have had 25 years ago (well, at least if you're near my age :). A most amazing book! Master this book and you'll master 'winning in life'. Success, wealth and achievement will virtually track you down and force themselves into your life. This book is not a book that is 'recommended'; this book is required reading for anyone wanting to pursue and live their dreams. Get it into your hands as fast as you can. You'll wonder how you've survived this long without it." - Michael Murphy, Author, Powerful Attitudes
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
The worst feeling in sales...
If you were to ask me what feeling I would most like to destroy, I know exactly what it is. I was thinking about some of the feelings I have had over the years when it comes to "selling."
The feeling that I would most like to destroy is... Doubt. You might respond, but what about fear? I actually think fear is pretty helpful in a lot of ways. It's such a strong emotion, in some ways - easier to manage. But Doubt is slippery. It sneaks in before you realize it - leans against the wall of your mind, in a black leather jacket, like a gangster from the 1950's, cigarette dangling, asking you, "Who do you think you are?" Doubt knows that it doesn't have to work that hard. It only needs to suggest things, in a subtle way, and then saunter off leaving you feeling uncertain; your confidence bullied out of the way.
And so when I think about 'Go for No' and the great results that it can bring people, I am most excited and hopeful that it can remove this most destructive of feelings. So when Doubt comes around you could say, "Oh I know - it's crazy that I think I can do this. It's okay I'm just going for No anyway. You can go now." And Doubt slinks away, head shaking, wondering how it lost it's grip on you.
The feeling that I would most like to destroy is... Doubt. You might respond, but what about fear? I actually think fear is pretty helpful in a lot of ways. It's such a strong emotion, in some ways - easier to manage. But Doubt is slippery. It sneaks in before you realize it - leans against the wall of your mind, in a black leather jacket, like a gangster from the 1950's, cigarette dangling, asking you, "Who do you think you are?" Doubt knows that it doesn't have to work that hard. It only needs to suggest things, in a subtle way, and then saunter off leaving you feeling uncertain; your confidence bullied out of the way.
And so when I think about 'Go for No' and the great results that it can bring people, I am most excited and hopeful that it can remove this most destructive of feelings. So when Doubt comes around you could say, "Oh I know - it's crazy that I think I can do this. It's okay I'm just going for No anyway. You can go now." And Doubt slinks away, head shaking, wondering how it lost it's grip on you.
Monday, October 3, 2011
A really important question...
When it comes to selling we have all been coached and trained to ask questions. Don't just talk and present - ask questions. Shut up and listen! Personally, my sales were not unleashed until I started focusing on the one really important question. It's the question that, when answered, takes me quickly and easily onto one of two paths.
The question is different for everyone. But whether you are offering cleaning services, upgrades on a website, selling life insurance or life coaching... there's the important question and it has to do with WANT. Some call it a disqualifying question.
Now I have to back up because I recently listened to a sales trainer's seminar about cold calling prospects. It started off with bringing up the weather to build rapport followed by a question that was complex enough that it reminded me of one of those essay questions about character arc that I would get on my literature test in high school.
Anywho, my point is - all that questioning is useless if you have not first figured out the want. So stop wasting your time and their time and begin asking the really important question: Do you want this?
The question is different for everyone. But whether you are offering cleaning services, upgrades on a website, selling life insurance or life coaching... there's the important question and it has to do with WANT. Some call it a disqualifying question.
Now I have to back up because I recently listened to a sales trainer's seminar about cold calling prospects. It started off with bringing up the weather to build rapport followed by a question that was complex enough that it reminded me of one of those essay questions about character arc that I would get on my literature test in high school.
Anywho, my point is - all that questioning is useless if you have not first figured out the want. So stop wasting your time and their time and begin asking the really important question: Do you want this?
Monday, September 5, 2011
Passion and Emotions when Selling
In his book, "How I Raised Myself From Failure To Success In Selling", Frank Bettger wrote: "I firmly believe enthusiasm is by far the biggest single factor in successful selling". Enthusiasm is one thing and you better have it!
But what about when your emotions get completely tied up in the sale… or non-sale? Granted, sales means money. And money is an emotional thing – it makes or breaks survival and defines lifestyle. So we can’t help but allow our feelings get in the way when it comes to sales. And yet, to be effective in virtually any endeavor, including sales, it is good to have less passion regarding the outcome of the situation. Not zero passion… but probably less passion than you’re experiencing currently.
Consider how a doctor must remain unemotional and somewhat dispassionate. It’s not that doctors are completely uncaring. Certainly if they are doing surgery - they care about the outcome, they care about the patient, but make no mistake: a certain amount of DETACHMENT is required to be effective. In fact, it is common practice not have doctors operate on relatives and loved ones. Why? Because they are too close, too emotional, to remain detached enough to do the job efficiently.
And the same is true for us as sellers, too. Our attachment to the outcome, tend to make us less effective. For example when it comes to selling, the ultimate place you can get to is where the words YES and NO contain the same emotional charge. And this means being more dispassionate when it comes to selling your product, service, opportunity, and even yourself.
There is no denying that there is some part of us that will always be happier when we hear ‘yes.’. After all, we’re human! We will never be able to be totally dispassionate about some outcomes. But the goal is clearly to reach a point where the difference between the elation of hearing ‘YES’ and the deflation of hearing NO is minimized… even if it can’t be eliminated entirely.
Anyone can be happy and positive when things are going their way. That’s easy! The question is: What is your attitude… how do you respond… when the going gets tough? When things do not go the way you’d like?
In poker, for example, players call a few bad hands “going on tilt.” Players are in control when they’re playing well and luck is with them. The question is, how well can they play and control their emotions when things aren’t going their way. Can they avoid going on tilt? The question is, when things don’t go your way… especially for extended periods of time… can you keep yourself from GOING ON TILT?
A few years ago the St. Louis Cardinals defeated the Detroit Tigers in the World Series. What makes this noteworthy is the performance of Cardinal shortstop David Eckstein. In his first 11 plate appearances, Eckstein went 0-11. He didn’t get his first hit until late in the third game. But, then he got 8 hits in his next 11 at bats - ending up 8 for 22 with a .364 batting average and being named series MVP. Even when things looked bad… were bad… Eckstein managed to keep his emotional in check and not go on tilt.
If you allow your successes … your yeses… to define your self-esteem… or to allow each result, each piece of good or bad news, to influence your thoughts and actions… life will become an emotional roller coaster ride with serious ups and downs that over time will drive you into a downward spiral of thoughts and actions. And it’s a very difficult cycle to get out of.
To be effective you must learn to separate yourself from what other people think and say and decide regarding your product or service… but to do so without becoming cold and nonchalant toward them. This is of course easier said than done.
Ironically, one of the side benefits of selling with less emotion is that others are actually drawn to us by our perceived lack of concern about the outcome. Too much emotion comes across as desperation. And customers don’t see desperation as a good sign. It does not instill a level of confidence in you or in the product. Ironically that causes the customer to back away and you lose the sale.
So get excited about your mission, about your product, and about LIFE. Let that come through. But when it comes to the excitement regarding the customer’s decision… that is when you need to relax and let the “chips fall” where they may.
But what about when your emotions get completely tied up in the sale… or non-sale? Granted, sales means money. And money is an emotional thing – it makes or breaks survival and defines lifestyle. So we can’t help but allow our feelings get in the way when it comes to sales. And yet, to be effective in virtually any endeavor, including sales, it is good to have less passion regarding the outcome of the situation. Not zero passion… but probably less passion than you’re experiencing currently.
Consider how a doctor must remain unemotional and somewhat dispassionate. It’s not that doctors are completely uncaring. Certainly if they are doing surgery - they care about the outcome, they care about the patient, but make no mistake: a certain amount of DETACHMENT is required to be effective. In fact, it is common practice not have doctors operate on relatives and loved ones. Why? Because they are too close, too emotional, to remain detached enough to do the job efficiently.
And the same is true for us as sellers, too. Our attachment to the outcome, tend to make us less effective. For example when it comes to selling, the ultimate place you can get to is where the words YES and NO contain the same emotional charge. And this means being more dispassionate when it comes to selling your product, service, opportunity, and even yourself.
There is no denying that there is some part of us that will always be happier when we hear ‘yes.’. After all, we’re human! We will never be able to be totally dispassionate about some outcomes. But the goal is clearly to reach a point where the difference between the elation of hearing ‘YES’ and the deflation of hearing NO is minimized… even if it can’t be eliminated entirely.
Anyone can be happy and positive when things are going their way. That’s easy! The question is: What is your attitude… how do you respond… when the going gets tough? When things do not go the way you’d like?
In poker, for example, players call a few bad hands “going on tilt.” Players are in control when they’re playing well and luck is with them. The question is, how well can they play and control their emotions when things aren’t going their way. Can they avoid going on tilt? The question is, when things don’t go your way… especially for extended periods of time… can you keep yourself from GOING ON TILT?
A few years ago the St. Louis Cardinals defeated the Detroit Tigers in the World Series. What makes this noteworthy is the performance of Cardinal shortstop David Eckstein. In his first 11 plate appearances, Eckstein went 0-11. He didn’t get his first hit until late in the third game. But, then he got 8 hits in his next 11 at bats - ending up 8 for 22 with a .364 batting average and being named series MVP. Even when things looked bad… were bad… Eckstein managed to keep his emotional in check and not go on tilt.
If you allow your successes … your yeses… to define your self-esteem… or to allow each result, each piece of good or bad news, to influence your thoughts and actions… life will become an emotional roller coaster ride with serious ups and downs that over time will drive you into a downward spiral of thoughts and actions. And it’s a very difficult cycle to get out of.
To be effective you must learn to separate yourself from what other people think and say and decide regarding your product or service… but to do so without becoming cold and nonchalant toward them. This is of course easier said than done.
Ironically, one of the side benefits of selling with less emotion is that others are actually drawn to us by our perceived lack of concern about the outcome. Too much emotion comes across as desperation. And customers don’t see desperation as a good sign. It does not instill a level of confidence in you or in the product. Ironically that causes the customer to back away and you lose the sale.
So get excited about your mission, about your product, and about LIFE. Let that come through. But when it comes to the excitement regarding the customer’s decision… that is when you need to relax and let the “chips fall” where they may.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Nurturing NO
Do you nurture your NO's? When we made our DVD Movie, 'Yes is the Destination, No is How You Get There' we interviewed 58 people on how they have failed, been rejected, and used the 'go for no' philosophy in their business and lives to reach a high level of success.
One of our sales experts, Mark Heerema, told us, "I realized that in order for me to really succeed, and this is my first lesson - that I had to get my NOs in order to get yeses. I was never taught that, no one ever told me that. So what I learned was, "No" is inevitable - I was going to get no - the question was, what was I going to do with it?"
In the movie, almost all of our fabulous experts agreed that most people get a no and that is it, it's over. The end of the road! Of course what the people in the movie think when they hear 'no' is exactly the opposite - they figure a way to go around it and they understand that 'no doesn't mean never, it means not yet.' It has clearly been a huge factor in their success.
When you get a 'no' don't throw it away. There are only two times you do take a NO and let it go.
1) It was a Good No. The person as it turns out is completely unqualified for what you are offering. (Example: my husband Richard is a really bad candidate for hair care products.)
2) They have told you 'no' and expressed to you that it really is a 'never' and to push beyond would be rude and disrespectful.
Otherwise, nurture your no's as they often will grow up to become YESES!
One of our sales experts, Mark Heerema, told us, "I realized that in order for me to really succeed, and this is my first lesson - that I had to get my NOs in order to get yeses. I was never taught that, no one ever told me that. So what I learned was, "No" is inevitable - I was going to get no - the question was, what was I going to do with it?"
In the movie, almost all of our fabulous experts agreed that most people get a no and that is it, it's over. The end of the road! Of course what the people in the movie think when they hear 'no' is exactly the opposite - they figure a way to go around it and they understand that 'no doesn't mean never, it means not yet.' It has clearly been a huge factor in their success.
When you get a 'no' don't throw it away. There are only two times you do take a NO and let it go.
1) It was a Good No. The person as it turns out is completely unqualified for what you are offering. (Example: my husband Richard is a really bad candidate for hair care products.)
2) They have told you 'no' and expressed to you that it really is a 'never' and to push beyond would be rude and disrespectful.
Otherwise, nurture your no's as they often will grow up to become YESES!
Friday, August 5, 2011
Fear of the No
We got a great question last week on twitter. It had to do with feeling afraid to 'go for no.' What do you do when you have that fear? It's important to start asking some questions of yourself to drill down to the root of the fear. What are you really afraid of?
Are you afraid of the 'no' because you (desperately) need the yes? This is understandable but guess what... the person is going to do what they are going to do most of the time regardless of you. While you might make the absolute best 'presentation' and give your best effort - ultimately their decision is theirs. So try to relax and detach from the outcome. It makes for less stress and less fear!
Are you afraid of the person getting upset at you? Also understandable. No one wants to make an enemy. Or come across annoying or pushy. But the next question is: are you on a mission? Do you have something that you believe in so strongly that you need to communicate it and therefore potentially and temporarily irritate someone? Do you believe this person needs to hear your story? Stop worrying about the result and focus on your mission. If the person gets upset, thank them for hearing you out and let it go.
Are you afraid of a yes? I know, weird, right? Perhaps underlying the fear is some anxiety around being successful. You might have a fear of being exposed - incapable of delivering on what you are providing for that 'yes.' Susan Jeffers says most all fear is related to the idea that we "can't handle" what comes our way. You need to trust in yourself and grow your confidence. (This is the one that may take some work!) Affirm to yourself that you can handle it. Think about all the great things you have accomplished so far. Realize that you are going to continue on this magnificent journey that you are creating despite these fears. In other words, you are NOT going to say 'no' to yourself.
Are you afraid of the 'no' because you (desperately) need the yes? This is understandable but guess what... the person is going to do what they are going to do most of the time regardless of you. While you might make the absolute best 'presentation' and give your best effort - ultimately their decision is theirs. So try to relax and detach from the outcome. It makes for less stress and less fear!
Are you afraid of the person getting upset at you? Also understandable. No one wants to make an enemy. Or come across annoying or pushy. But the next question is: are you on a mission? Do you have something that you believe in so strongly that you need to communicate it and therefore potentially and temporarily irritate someone? Do you believe this person needs to hear your story? Stop worrying about the result and focus on your mission. If the person gets upset, thank them for hearing you out and let it go.
Are you afraid of a yes? I know, weird, right? Perhaps underlying the fear is some anxiety around being successful. You might have a fear of being exposed - incapable of delivering on what you are providing for that 'yes.' Susan Jeffers says most all fear is related to the idea that we "can't handle" what comes our way. You need to trust in yourself and grow your confidence. (This is the one that may take some work!) Affirm to yourself that you can handle it. Think about all the great things you have accomplished so far. Realize that you are going to continue on this magnificent journey that you are creating despite these fears. In other words, you are NOT going to say 'no' to yourself.
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