Recently we've been asked... how long should I keep going? For example: "I call people and leave messages but they don't call me back!" True, it's rare that you get a call back. Unless someone is HIGHLY motivated - right place, right time, right person, right everything - you usually won't get a call back. Face it, do you call everyone back?
Second, and more important... you are pursuing this person. This bears repeating: you are pursuing them! So avoid agonizing over them not calling you back, or emailing you a response etc. The reality is they will reach out when it's right for them. Unless... you are no where to be found!
So what should you do? Be there when the time is right! This means staying touch, following up undeterred by lack of response. Stay top of mind. Something will change. So how long should you keep going? For as long as it takes.
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Tuesday, April 13, 2010
Your Overactive Imagination
I have a fantastic imagination as I am sure you do too. When someone does not return my call (yes, it does happen), or respond to an email, or ignores me after repeated attempts... I begin to wonder.
And the stories I make up about what this person is thinking, feeling, and doing regarding me are really interesting. In fact, it is amazing how, in my own mind, everyone is thinking about or acting in a certain way because of little old ME! (Now it would be helpful for you to also refer in this moment, to my last blog: My Favorite Rule.)
The reality is, people are busy, they're thinking about themselves, and whatever story you've made up as to why you haven't gotten through to this person is totally inaccurate. It's your overactive imagination making up stories! So the next time you are talking yourself out of recontacting this person, remember that you have no idea what's really going on and you are simply going to find out. True, it may take a while! But you will eventually find out the real story, and I promise - it's all about them - not you.
And the stories I make up about what this person is thinking, feeling, and doing regarding me are really interesting. In fact, it is amazing how, in my own mind, everyone is thinking about or acting in a certain way because of little old ME! (Now it would be helpful for you to also refer in this moment, to my last blog: My Favorite Rule.)
The reality is, people are busy, they're thinking about themselves, and whatever story you've made up as to why you haven't gotten through to this person is totally inaccurate. It's your overactive imagination making up stories! So the next time you are talking yourself out of recontacting this person, remember that you have no idea what's really going on and you are simply going to find out. True, it may take a while! But you will eventually find out the real story, and I promise - it's all about them - not you.
Saturday, April 3, 2010
Andrea's Favorite Rule
One of my favorite "fun" books (not "biz" books) is 'Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination' by Helen Fielding; the same writer who did the Bridget Jones series. The book is nothing but silly and fun - we get to watch the main character, Olivia - desperate for a life of mystery, intrigue, and love - actually stumble into it, getting the life she's been dreaming of.
It's Bridget Jones meets James Bond for women.
Olivia is a great character and I fell in love with a list she calls upon throughout the book called, "Rules for Living." These rules span all facets of a woman's life including the very important Rule #3: Never change a hair cut or color before an important event. I can personally attest to this rule having broken it myself. This rule seems obvious but it's easy to ignore and you will regret not following it. I am still paying the price until this very day. (A story for another time.)
But then there is Rule #2. My favorite. It's the one I knew deep down but was reminded of it and I have gone back to this rule over and over and over in my life. Here it is:
Olivia Joules' Rule for Living #2: No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves, just like you.
It doesn't require much explanation and I bet that deep down you knew this one too. Remember it! Go back to it over and over. Remember this Rule every single time you want to do something different, something NEW, something for YOU, something against type, CRAZY, BOLD, Courageous, something your friends or family won't like or approve of... Anything.... except of course change a hair cut or color before an important event.
It's Bridget Jones meets James Bond for women.
Olivia is a great character and I fell in love with a list she calls upon throughout the book called, "Rules for Living." These rules span all facets of a woman's life including the very important Rule #3: Never change a hair cut or color before an important event. I can personally attest to this rule having broken it myself. This rule seems obvious but it's easy to ignore and you will regret not following it. I am still paying the price until this very day. (A story for another time.)
But then there is Rule #2. My favorite. It's the one I knew deep down but was reminded of it and I have gone back to this rule over and over and over in my life. Here it is:
Olivia Joules' Rule for Living #2: No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves, just like you.
It doesn't require much explanation and I bet that deep down you knew this one too. Remember it! Go back to it over and over. Remember this Rule every single time you want to do something different, something NEW, something for YOU, something against type, CRAZY, BOLD, Courageous, something your friends or family won't like or approve of... Anything.... except of course change a hair cut or color before an important event.
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