Tuesday, December 3, 2013

Celebrating Success & Failure

Monday, November 11, 2013

Be Bold: Failing Successfully!

by Jeff Shore

Failure is inevitable. We all know that. We learn this fact of life at very young ages and we develop a response to failure that often follows us into adulthood. Most of us learn to adjust our behavior in order to not experience failure, or at least, not the kind of failure that is very obvious or painful.

We attempt ➜ We Fail ➜ We never try again. The End.

On some level, we all know that the above pattern is a natural but entirely juvenile progression. As we develop and grow, we learn to push back on our knee-jerk, immature response to failure. We have countless sayings to describe this:

"No pain, no gain."
"It has to get worse before it gets better."
"What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger."
"If you want the rainbow, you have to put up with the rain."

And yet.

If we are brutally honest with ourselves, the degree to which we have internalized this reality is not extreme. We set the bar low. We excuse our choices with equally famous phrases like “I’m only human” and “I can only do so much.” Or, we camouflage our choices to not try (risking failure) as choosing balance or contentment...in “being so Zen.”   Humans may be at their most creative when they are trying to justify their own mediocrity.

How often do we unthinkingly change our behavior in order to not experience failure? Put another way, how much and how often do we not try just so we don’t fail? If you’re reading this, you have to be breathing and if you are breathing, you are alive and if you are alive, the answer to that question is: MUCH more often than you realize!   As evolved as any one of us may be, the magnet-like pull to avoid failure is immeasurably strong and somehow, every day, we give in to it.

If you imagine a typical day in your head, starting at the beginning, it won’t take you long to come to the first occurrence of something you do mainly to avoid failure. Take a moment to imagine the best that could happen in that scenario and then choose to start there, adjusting your actions based on possible success instead of the fear of failure. And know this: it may not “work.” Failure leads to failure leads to failure...until it doesn’t! Success ONLY comes after failure and usually that looks like this:

Failure ➜ Failure ➜ Failure ➜ Failure ➜ Failure ➜ Success!

Mediocrity requires no change. Success demands it. The path to growth is a direct route to your own failure...and your own success. You are not a child, you can do this. Be bold: fail successfully!

About the Author:
Jeff Shore is a highly sought-after sales expert, speaker, author and executive coach whose innovative BE BOLD methodology teaches you how to change your mindset and change your world. His latest book, Be Bold and Win the Sale: Get Out of Your Comfort Zone and Boost Your Performance, is forthcoming from McGraw-Hill in January 2014. Learn more at jeffshore.com and follow Jeff on Twitter.

Thursday, October 24, 2013

Quit Taking It Personally

Follow this Q-Tip Philosophy. I'll be discussing this idea in greater depth on Breakthrough Business Strategies Radio with Michele Price, Monday, October 28th at Noon Eastern.

Please join us as I will be talking about the foundations of getting over this insidious habit that has the power to delay and destroy success!

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

New and Improved Way to Create the Future You Want

Sometimes a new idea comes along that turns all the old models of thinking upside down. We like to think 'Go for No' did that for fear of rejection. Well, now here is new way to simply ask a new kind of question that can immediately change your life.

A friend of ours, author Noah St. John, has just released his new book from Hay House, The Book of Afformations: Discovering The Missing Piece to Abundant Health, Wealth, Love, and Happiness and it’s an amazing read. (We've personally used Noah's method and it works.)

Noah tells the story of how he invented Afformations one morning in 1997. He was in the shower when he asked himself a question that changed his life: Why are we trying to change our lives saying statements we don’t believe when the human mind responds automatically to something even more powerful?  Here are just a few of the remarkable, real-life stories from people around the world who have used Noah’s Afformations Method to change their lives…

1) Sam and Shirley from Phoenix had been trying to sell their home for over a month with no luck. After a friend told them about Afformations, they started afforming that their house would be sold at the right price. Less than 24 hours later, a couple made an offer on their home, and Sam and Shirley got the price they were looking for.

2) Chris, a finance expert from Canada, had never been able to raise large amounts of money. After using Afformations and listening to Noah St. John’s iAfform Audios for less than 3 weeks, Chris closed his first million dollar client.

3) Michael from Germany was a chronic procrastinator. He and his wife Silvia had decided to get a divorce. In fact, the divorce papers were on the desk waiting to be signed. At the last moment, Michael decided to share Noah’s teaching of Afformations with Silvia. Something switched. They decided not to get a divorce, are best friends again, and share their list of Afformations with each other every day.

4) Amy was having constant chest pains and panic attacks due to crushing debt and mounting financial pressure. Every day, she considered suicide just to be free from the pain. A friend told her about Noah’s Afformations System, and Amy read it. That very night, she slept well for the first time in nearly a year. The feelings of panic, anxiety, and overwhelm left her, and she never considered suicide again.

5) Michael was very dissatisfied with his job. He often wondered why he bothered to come into work at all. Then he heard about Afformations and started using them. A few weeks later, Michael approached his company’s CEO with a proposal for a new position. The proposal was accepted and Michael created his own dream job at more than twice his original salary.

6) Jody was a talented singer/songwriter who was facing enormous medical bills as a result of a long illness. She was working long hours in a dental office to pay the bills. She became so exhausted, she didn’t have the time or energy to express her true gifts. Jody attended Noah’s seminar and heard him teach about Afformations. It was one of the biggest Aha! moments of her life. She started using Afformations and is now an award-winning, full-time musician.

These are all great stories but the better question is... what story amazing will you create using Afformations? 

Don't wait. Watch this trailer now http://afformationsbook.com

Friday, October 11, 2013

Women's Secrets to Failing Greatly

A Go for No! Woman has a lot to balance. Here are her keys for success with NO!
Gives herself the opportunity to pursue her goals and dreams.
Owns her failures knowing that failures are part of her journey to success.
Focuses on being assertive and stops worrying about being perceived as pushy.
Obtains and increases her 'no's' ultimately increasing her yeses and building her business.
Remembers that she is on a mission and uses that as fuel to 'go for no.'
Neutralizes her emotional reaction not allowing it to define her or ruin her day.
Opens her mind, always learning, knowing that her growth is key to her achievement.
Works through fear, doing things that are outside her comfort zone.
Overcomes inertia and takes action when she sees opportunity.
Manages her time so that she can 'go for no' and also take personal time for herself.
Allows herself to be who she is without internal criticism of who she thinks she should be.
Notices (even if it takes a while) that she is - as it turns out - a pretty awesome woman who deserves all life has to offer and that she has the power to make those things happen!

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

Embracing Rejection Increases Your Opportunities!

When you embrace 'no' and allow yourself to explore opportunities, experiences, business deals, sales... all with a potential rejection, your opportunities for success increase as well. Because we've all been programmed to believe in chasing 'success' we tend to go for the sure thing. You what the sure thing is? Usually the safest thing too. As our friend Randy Gage says, "Risky is the New Safe." Risk your ego... embrace failure... rejection... and potential no's for bigger dreams, a new world, and a much better pay off!

Monday, September 23, 2013

Challenge Yourself to Get NO!

How many NO's can you collect in 30 Days?
It's time for another Go for No! 30 Day Challenge! 

There are plenty of 'success' challenges. Finally here is one where you are going to fail more and celebrate it when you do! How's that for a re-frame? The goal is to reduce your stress, increase the fun, and get better results in the end.

Sign up for the free webinar, October 1st, with me, Andrea Waltz, co-author of Go for No! 

Sunday, August 11, 2013

Learn from the Negatives!

Thursday, July 18, 2013

Step Five How to Deal with Failure

So, in a recap here are the first four steps for dealing with failure...
 1) Stay Calm.
2) Look for the Learning.
3) Shift into the New Model of Failure.
4) Forget About Other People.

It may sound cliche but the final step, #5 is: Try Again.

Thomas Edison was ruthless in his experimentation famously saying,  “I have not failed. I've just found 10,000 ways that won't work.”

The only way to parlay failures into future successes is to follow the first four steps and then to try again!

Monday, July 8, 2013

Step Four for How to Deal With Failure

So far I've covered the first two steps to dealing with failure... And they are: 1) Stay Calm. 2) Look for the Learning. 3) Shift into the New Model of Failure... Step Four is to Forget About Other People.

Imagine if you were the last person on the planet... you know the scenario right? You wake up and literally it's just you or you and your significant other or spouse and everyone else is dead or simply gone. When Richard and I have discussed this scenario (on the off chance that it should happen we like to know we've at least and one conversation about it) we decide that we'd pretty much run amok and do whatever we want.  We were a little sad that there would no one at our favorite restaurants to cook our food.

Now if this happened since no one else is around, their opinions of you and your success or failure really don't matter too much anymore do they? That's the mental place you must get to right now.

A couple years ago I blogged about my favorite rule.  It's from a book called 'Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination' by Helen Fielding; the same writer who did the Bridget Jones series.

Olivia is a great character and I fell in love with a list she calls upon throughout the book called, "Rules for Living." These rules span all facets of a woman's life including the very important Rule #3: Never change a hair cut or color before an important event. (I can personally attest to this rule having broken it myself.) Anywhoo...

Then there is Rule #2. My favorite. It's the one I knew deep down but was reminded of it and I have gone back to this rule over and over and over in my life. Here it is: No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves, just like you.

When it comes to dealing with failure, you must forget about other people. When you do, your suffering, embarrassment, fear will almost disappear entirely allowing you to quickly move to step #5!

Monday, June 24, 2013

Third Step of How to Deal with Failure

So far I've covered the first two steps to dealing with failure... And they are: 1) Stay Calm. 2) Look for the Learning.  Step three is: Shift into the New Model of Failure.

Most people operate with the following mental model: they see themselves in the middle, with success on one end and failure on the other. They do everything they can to move toward success and away from failure.

What if, rather than seeing failure as something to be avoided it became a “stepping-stone” on the path to success? In other words: Success is the destination. Failure is how you get there.  To achieve significant success in today’s world, failure is not just a possibility…it is a requirement.

The old model is where you avoid failure at all costs; the newer model is to understand and value failure for what it is. In sales, the old model is to avoid no, the new model is to 'go for no.' When we live in a Go for Yes world where failures are bad and success is good, no wonder that we put ourselves through such trauma when a failure happens but with the new model that becomes totally unnecessary!

Thursday, June 20, 2013

Second Step for How to Deal with Failure

They first step for How to Deal with Failure was to Keep Calm.

This brings us to the next step which is to: Look for the Learning.

What worked and what didn't? If you got a 'no' do you know why? If your project completely tanked, what would you do differently?  In order to turn your 'failure' into success, you've got to find the learning within the failure. And if you are simply 'going for no' then the learning may just be very simple: try again!

Friday, June 14, 2013

First Step of How to Deal With Failure

I was recently presented with a 'tweet that read: "Anyone reading or who has read Go for No! will know that failure is an important part of success. The question is how to deal with it..."

Great question. Here is Step One: Stay Calm.

If you are like most people, you've been taught and trained to live in a world where failure is abhorred. It is unfortunate that as adults, the 'ego' is wrapped up into how we are perceived by others and so failure is not appreciated nor sought.  Oh sure, we'll quote J.K. Rowling and Richard Branson - both who espouse the value of failure but we seem to allow their wise words wash off our back like a duck in water. (Perhaps deep inside we think, 'yeah but they are billionaires!' Has it ever ocurred to us that embracing failure is actually a reason for their success?)

The children of today are not fairing any better. It seems once encouraged to persist through learning to walk and tying a shoe, that they too are set upon with a philosophy of success via perfection. 'Positive Failure' author argues that "avoiding failure is responsible for the huge lack in resilience we have seen in many adolescents in western society."

So how to start dealing with failure? First: Stay calm.  And come back for Step Two.

Saturday, June 1, 2013

Go For No Book "Should You Read Go For No?"

Thursday, May 23, 2013

Removing What Restrains You

We all are looking for improvement in our lives and businesses quickly. We want the magic bullet that will speed us along... the super-charge for our gas tank. Okay, you get the metaphors.

But just as powerful - we think more powerful, is removing what restrains you.  The reality is no matter how much you rev the engine, if your foot is pressed down on the brake, you don't move.

Fear of failure... fear of NO... fear of rejection... is one of the most powerful and devastating of all "restrainers" in people's businesses, sales careers, and their lives. Remove that and see how far and fast you can really go.

Tuesday, May 14, 2013

Selling and the Lottery

Play the lottery?

Some people think that the longer a certain combination of numbers is not drawn, the better the probability of that combination being drawn in subsequent draws.  This is mathematically incorrect.

Lottery draws are what are called "independent events" which means that every lottery draw is totally unrelated from the others and the new numbers drawn have nothing to do with the numbers drawn in the previous draw or in the future for that matter.

In sales, like the lottery, each conversation is NEW and could be a NO or YES. If you've had a string of NO's the next one could be the YES! And like the lottery, the more you play the more you might win. (right?) Well, kind of.  The reality is you *must* play to have a chance of winning. 
You have to play and get NO's to have the chance for the yeses!

The good news in sales is, with each "play" you get the opportunity to IMPROVE, learn and grow whether it was a YES or a NO. More good news: sales has much better odds than the lottery.

Saturday, May 4, 2013

Handling NO "Well"

We talk a lot about feelings around the words yes and no. We teach people to get off the 'emotional roller coaster' when they hear yes and no, so that they are not creating an emotionally unhealthy lifestyle for themselves.

Your customer or prospect doesn't want to climb onto the 'emotional roller coaster' with you!  Remember that 'No' is a perfectly acceptable answer.

Now while we are constantly looking for ways to deal with that 'no' by following up, getting creative, and on and on... ultimately your initial first reaction to getting a 'no' has got to be positive! If you act in such a way that makes someone uncomfortable and regret dealing with you then getting referrals from that person and  getting the future yes that may well be there will be very difficult.

So when you get a 'no' respond positively with enthusiasm. Help your customer or prospect see that for you, it's about service and asking... and that they will not be penalized for saying 'no' to you. Do this enough, and not only will keep yourself off the emotional roller coaster, you will have a better chance later on to turn that 'no' into a yes!

Saturday, April 6, 2013

Help! I Can't Get a No or Yes!

We hear this a lot. Prospects and customers use the "excuse" - let me think about it. Face it, we all do it. So let's reverse engineer the problem.

When WE do it, it's typically for a couple of reasons: 1) we just don't want to say 'no' 2) we really are not sure and truly want to think it over / just not ready to commit for some reason. Maybe it's cost, maybe it's timing, or maybe the product is not appealing in every way. Lots of reasons!  But based on these two major issues, you can then chose how you want to respond. Think of it like a short version of one of those "Choose Your Own Adventure" books and take a path...

1) Tell the person it's okay to tell you 'no' if it's not something they are interested in, and quite frankly you'd appreciate so that you don't have to waste your time or any of their time in the future.

2) Tell them thinking it over is totally fine, you understand, but you want to set up a time to follow up. Then schedule the follow up and do it!

3) Probe the issue by telling them that usually when someone wants to "think about it" that there is something that is a concern and you're just curious if there is something that doesn't feel right... or something that is concerning to them... or something that is... well, you get it, there are dozens of ways to word this! 

Whatever you do, just don't get frustrated!  Seek to understand and help. In that moment, choose an approach and do your best to be of service to the person you are dealing with. And above all, do not give up!

Wednesday, April 3, 2013

Success Requires Hanging In!

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Fear and Quitting Philosophy

Monday, March 25, 2013

Success Requires Positive Patience

Friday, March 22, 2013

Sales Ideas for Every Entrepreneur

The launch of my entrepreneurial venture consisted of buying a fax machine, submitting a 'DBA' to the local newspaper, and quitting my job. With no idea what I was doing, I gleefully began to figure out who our ideal client was, how to reach them, what to say, and not to give up. In a nut shell, that is the sales plan for every new entrepreneur! Looking back there are 3 key sales ideas or philosophies that I discovered along the way that are my favorites...

 1) When faced with a NO, if you can... find out why.  Are you too expensive? Is there something that is not ideal about the product? Something confusing that could be better explained? When you get a NO it is the perfect to find out, 'why.' You will have loads failures and no's in your business but not learning from them is a big mistake. It's the perfect research so don't be afraid to probe further so you can improve from each interaction even if it does not result in business.

2) Talk to more people. Because we all operate in a 'yes' world we typically don't go after people who we think we'll get a 'no' from. And yet you must not make assumptions about anything or any one. And while you do want to spend time with qualified prospects... most entrepreneurs just don't share their business with enough people! The result? Struggling because we become reliant on a few clients - never fun. Never lose sight of the fact that you must be out there engaging with potential client all of the time.

3) Follow up. Follow up on the NO's (remember #1?) Stay in touch. Send cards, postcards, emails, and give a quick call. Be there - still in the game - when your customer is ready to hire you. Most people get a 'no' and they see it as never rather than 'not yet.' You must turn invested time into profitable and the only way to do that is to ensure you follow up with your qualified and interested (but not ready yet) prospects.

Friday, March 15, 2013

Kids Learn to Fear Failure, Not To Value It

Great article from The Sheaf, University of Saskatchewan makes the case that we systematically drill in a fear of failure into children, especially as they move through the school system, quote:  "The first thing students look at when a professor returns an exam or assignment is the grade — not the corrections or the suggestions that are scrawled in the margins. There are no marks awarded for doing something new or for caring deeply about what you’re learning. When only the grade is important, students lose any interest in doing work beyond what is necessary to get a good mark."

Perhaps this is why many adults have a fear of making mistakes, failure, all from a process that was drilled into us long ago... now completely subconscious but still able to run our feelings about taking risks and being willing to fail, let alone embrace failure. Just a guess. I could be wrong.

Wednesday, February 27, 2013

Courage is a Muscle... Use it or Lose It!

Monday, February 18, 2013

When Have You Gone Too Far?

A major core of the ‘go for no’ philosophy is to be persistent, tenacious, to not give up. But, how do you know when enough is enough? When you have crossed that ‘line’ and you’ve gone too far with someone?

That darn line. Two big problems with the LINE... first is, it's invisible. Second, it's different for everyone. So, if "the line" is invisible AND it is different for each person, what is the only option for most people?  It's to stand SO FAR BACK you never, ever accidentally cross over it.

Why fear the line?
For almost every single one of us, we had a moment where we crossed the line and got smacked back down. If you've been in business for a while now, there was the one customer/prospect that one time that got upset with you. Or, maybe it was even a parent or a friend that let you have it because you went a little too far. We all have at least one story, one memory and so what we do is make sure that it never happens again.

However, if you never, ever step over the line you will never sell or operate at your full potential. Could you imagine if McDonald's decided: "most people don't want fries, and some people get mad when we offer so we are just going to stop doing it and wait until someone asks if we have french fries." 
That is crazy! They'd rather offer fries to everyone, every time and deal with the few individuals that it makes crazy. In the mean time, lots of people bought fries and McDonald's didn't run its business on the minority rule.

So what if you cross the line every now and again? Great - you discovered the line! Pull your toe back to safety and move on. The reality is you are sharing information about your products and services should be win-win. When you operate your business and your life in such a way as to never cross "the line" it's not just a lose-win (you lose) your customers and potential customers lose too. 

Thursday, February 7, 2013

Great Leaders Fail Too!

You often won't find truly great leaders who are afraid to fail or who fear looking bad. Because great leaders understand and value great failures knowing that with great failures coming wisdom and progress.

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

Think of Rejection Differently!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Failure Philosophy to Succeed

Sunday, January 20, 2013

Rejection Fears Sabotaging You?

Rejection fears can sabotage you. An all-too common comment we hear: what do you do when fear is keeping you off the phone? I'll be discussing on Breakthrough Business Strategies radio this Monday, January 21st 2013!

While online marketing and sales can can you pretty far, most sales will take place through conversations over the phone and it’s up to you to dial the number.

You cannot analyze your way out of this until the fear is gone. Action is the only remedy. So, adopt a simple three part strategy:
1) Only allow yourself to do the day’s most enjoyable task until the call(s) is made.
2) Write out the 1-2 points you want to discuss and end with a question. A final decision making question must be asked. Keep it short.
3) Be willing to be bad. Perfectionism is the enemy of lost sales and productivity. Besides, no one knows what it was supposed to be like just you!

Thursday, January 17, 2013

Crazy and Stupid Ideas Rule

Did you ever have an idea but you didn't share it because you thought people would make fun of you? That someone else or the group you were in wouldn't like it? Perhaps you just didn't want to be ridiculed or made to feel stupid...

Einstein said, “If at first, the idea is not absurd, then there is no hope for it.”

Yet we protect our 'ego' usually for the sake of not wanting to look like or feel like an idiot. And yet in remaining quiet, we don't protect ourselves, we merely ensure mediocrity. That fear of failure and fear of looking bad does not serve you in anyway except to hold you back and keep you from doing something amazing and changing what it is you want to change.

If you have a goal, dream, or something you want to accomplish, then join the ranks of history's greatest thinkers, philosophers, scientists, and innovators who were all told at one time or another that their ideas were stupid and crazy. Crazy and Stupid Ideas Rule.

Friday, January 4, 2013

5 Tips to Get More NO's in 2013

If the goal is to get more No's in 2013... then how? Here are our Top 5 Ways to Collect More No's this Year!
#1) You get a meeting or a conversation by phone. You make a presentation. Now what? Don't let it drift, ask a closing question, in other words... ask for the sale! 
#2) You have a conversation and the prospect asks for time to think it over. Now what? Don't let this go! Be sure to call them back as promised.
#3) You get a 'no.' Now what? Ask if you can check back or try again. Get permission to stay in touch!
#4) Your customer selects a product option. Now what? Don't forget to point out anything else they should consider including additional products/services... OR upgrading to a better quality option with greater features/benefits.  
#5) You are serving many wonderful customers. Now what? Give them a call, thank them for their business and ask them if they know anyone else who might like your product/service.

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