Do you nurture your NO's? When we made our DVD Movie, 'Yes is the Destination, No is How You Get There' we interviewed 58 people on how they have failed, been rejected, and used the 'go for no' philosophy in their business and lives to reach a high level of success.
One of our sales experts, Mark Heerema, told us, "I realized that in order for me to really succeed, and this is my first lesson - that I had to get my NOs in order to get yeses. I was never taught that, no one ever told me that. So what I learned was, "No" is inevitable - I was going to get no - the question was, what was I going to do with it?"
In the movie, almost all of our fabulous experts agreed that most people get a no and that is it, it's over. The end of the road! Of course what the people in the movie think when they hear 'no' is exactly the opposite - they figure a way to go around it and they understand that 'no doesn't mean never, it means not yet.' It has clearly been a huge factor in their success.
When you get a 'no' don't throw it away. There are only two times you do take a NO and let it go.
1) It was a Good No. The person as it turns out is completely unqualified for what you are offering. (Example: my husband Richard is a really bad candidate for hair care products.)
2) They have told you 'no' and expressed to you that it really is a 'never' and to push beyond would be rude and disrespectful.
Otherwise, nurture your no's as they often will grow up to become YESES!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Friday, August 5, 2011
Fear of the No
We got a great question last week on twitter. It had to do with feeling afraid to 'go for no.' What do you do when you have that fear? It's important to start asking some questions of yourself to drill down to the root of the fear. What are you really afraid of?
Are you afraid of the 'no' because you (desperately) need the yes? This is understandable but guess what... the person is going to do what they are going to do most of the time regardless of you. While you might make the absolute best 'presentation' and give your best effort - ultimately their decision is theirs. So try to relax and detach from the outcome. It makes for less stress and less fear!
Are you afraid of the person getting upset at you? Also understandable. No one wants to make an enemy. Or come across annoying or pushy. But the next question is: are you on a mission? Do you have something that you believe in so strongly that you need to communicate it and therefore potentially and temporarily irritate someone? Do you believe this person needs to hear your story? Stop worrying about the result and focus on your mission. If the person gets upset, thank them for hearing you out and let it go.
Are you afraid of a yes? I know, weird, right? Perhaps underlying the fear is some anxiety around being successful. You might have a fear of being exposed - incapable of delivering on what you are providing for that 'yes.' Susan Jeffers says most all fear is related to the idea that we "can't handle" what comes our way. You need to trust in yourself and grow your confidence. (This is the one that may take some work!) Affirm to yourself that you can handle it. Think about all the great things you have accomplished so far. Realize that you are going to continue on this magnificent journey that you are creating despite these fears. In other words, you are NOT going to say 'no' to yourself.
Are you afraid of the 'no' because you (desperately) need the yes? This is understandable but guess what... the person is going to do what they are going to do most of the time regardless of you. While you might make the absolute best 'presentation' and give your best effort - ultimately their decision is theirs. So try to relax and detach from the outcome. It makes for less stress and less fear!
Are you afraid of the person getting upset at you? Also understandable. No one wants to make an enemy. Or come across annoying or pushy. But the next question is: are you on a mission? Do you have something that you believe in so strongly that you need to communicate it and therefore potentially and temporarily irritate someone? Do you believe this person needs to hear your story? Stop worrying about the result and focus on your mission. If the person gets upset, thank them for hearing you out and let it go.
Are you afraid of a yes? I know, weird, right? Perhaps underlying the fear is some anxiety around being successful. You might have a fear of being exposed - incapable of delivering on what you are providing for that 'yes.' Susan Jeffers says most all fear is related to the idea that we "can't handle" what comes our way. You need to trust in yourself and grow your confidence. (This is the one that may take some work!) Affirm to yourself that you can handle it. Think about all the great things you have accomplished so far. Realize that you are going to continue on this magnificent journey that you are creating despite these fears. In other words, you are NOT going to say 'no' to yourself.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Picking up a CHANCE card
Remember playing the board game, Monopoly? Did you have a favorite playing piece? The dog? The shoe? Top hat? I thought the little silver car was pretty cool. I feared going to jail. And my favorite thing of all was landing on the "CHANCE" square and getting to pick up a CHANCE card.
It was so exciting. Nothing but opportunity - a chance, literally, for something amazing to happen. Or even something not so great. I didn't care - I loved the suspense, excitement and the risk. I guess that's why I love being an entrepreneur. Each day I wake up, I feel like I'm picking up a CHANCE card. Each day is an opportunity for something amazing to happen - or something not so great. But it's a chance! And that's I all I want.
I don't expect everyone to be like me. But I will say that life is a lot more fun and interesting when you let yourself play. Give yourself the opportunity to have that CHANCE!
"All life is a chance. The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare." - Dale Carnegie
It was so exciting. Nothing but opportunity - a chance, literally, for something amazing to happen. Or even something not so great. I didn't care - I loved the suspense, excitement and the risk. I guess that's why I love being an entrepreneur. Each day I wake up, I feel like I'm picking up a CHANCE card. Each day is an opportunity for something amazing to happen - or something not so great. But it's a chance! And that's I all I want.
I don't expect everyone to be like me. But I will say that life is a lot more fun and interesting when you let yourself play. Give yourself the opportunity to have that CHANCE!
"All life is a chance. The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare." - Dale Carnegie
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