In his book, "How I Raised Myself From Failure To Success In Selling", Frank Bettger wrote: "I firmly believe enthusiasm is by far the biggest single factor in successful selling". Enthusiasm is one thing and you better have it!
But what about when your emotions get completely tied up in the sale… or non-sale? Granted, sales means money. And money is an emotional thing – it makes or breaks survival and defines lifestyle. So we can’t help but allow our feelings get in the way when it comes to sales. And yet, to be effective in virtually any endeavor, including sales, it is good to have less passion regarding the outcome of the situation. Not zero passion… but probably less passion than you’re experiencing currently.
Consider how a doctor must remain unemotional and somewhat dispassionate. It’s not that doctors are completely uncaring. Certainly if they are doing surgery - they care about the outcome, they care about the patient, but make no mistake: a certain amount of DETACHMENT is required to be effective. In fact, it is common practice not have doctors operate on relatives and loved ones. Why? Because they are too close, too emotional, to remain detached enough to do the job efficiently.
And the same is true for us as sellers, too. Our attachment to the outcome, tend to make us less effective. For example when it comes to selling, the ultimate place you can get to is where the words YES and NO contain the same emotional charge. And this means being more dispassionate when it comes to selling your product, service, opportunity, and even yourself.
There is no denying that there is some part of us that will always be happier when we hear ‘yes.’. After all, we’re human! We will never be able to be totally dispassionate about some outcomes. But the goal is clearly to reach a point where the difference between the elation of hearing ‘YES’ and the deflation of hearing NO is minimized… even if it can’t be eliminated entirely.
Anyone can be happy and positive when things are going their way. That’s easy! The question is: What is your attitude… how do you respond… when the going gets tough? When things do not go the way you’d like?
In poker, for example, players call a few bad hands “going on tilt.” Players are in control when they’re playing well and luck is with them. The question is, how well can they play and control their emotions when things aren’t going their way. Can they avoid going on tilt? The question is, when things don’t go your way… especially for extended periods of time… can you keep yourself from GOING ON TILT?
A few years ago the St. Louis Cardinals defeated the Detroit Tigers in the World Series. What makes this noteworthy is the performance of Cardinal shortstop David Eckstein. In his first 11 plate appearances, Eckstein went 0-11. He didn’t get his first hit until late in the third game. But, then he got 8 hits in his next 11 at bats - ending up 8 for 22 with a .364 batting average and being named series MVP. Even when things looked bad… were bad… Eckstein managed to keep his emotional in check and not go on tilt.
If you allow your successes … your yeses… to define your self-esteem… or to allow each result, each piece of good or bad news, to influence your thoughts and actions… life will become an emotional roller coaster ride with serious ups and downs that over time will drive you into a downward spiral of thoughts and actions. And it’s a very difficult cycle to get out of.
To be effective you must learn to separate yourself from what other people think and say and decide regarding your product or service… but to do so without becoming cold and nonchalant toward them. This is of course easier said than done.
Ironically, one of the side benefits of selling with less emotion is that others are actually drawn to us by our perceived lack of concern about the outcome. Too much emotion comes across as desperation. And customers don’t see desperation as a good sign. It does not instill a level of confidence in you or in the product. Ironically that causes the customer to back away and you lose the sale.
So get excited about your mission, about your product, and about LIFE. Let that come through. But when it comes to the excitement regarding the customer’s decision… that is when you need to relax and let the “chips fall” where they may.
Monday, September 5, 2011
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Nurturing NO
Do you nurture your NO's? When we made our DVD Movie, 'Yes is the Destination, No is How You Get There' we interviewed 58 people on how they have failed, been rejected, and used the 'go for no' philosophy in their business and lives to reach a high level of success.
One of our sales experts, Mark Heerema, told us, "I realized that in order for me to really succeed, and this is my first lesson - that I had to get my NOs in order to get yeses. I was never taught that, no one ever told me that. So what I learned was, "No" is inevitable - I was going to get no - the question was, what was I going to do with it?"
In the movie, almost all of our fabulous experts agreed that most people get a no and that is it, it's over. The end of the road! Of course what the people in the movie think when they hear 'no' is exactly the opposite - they figure a way to go around it and they understand that 'no doesn't mean never, it means not yet.' It has clearly been a huge factor in their success.
When you get a 'no' don't throw it away. There are only two times you do take a NO and let it go.
1) It was a Good No. The person as it turns out is completely unqualified for what you are offering. (Example: my husband Richard is a really bad candidate for hair care products.)
2) They have told you 'no' and expressed to you that it really is a 'never' and to push beyond would be rude and disrespectful.
Otherwise, nurture your no's as they often will grow up to become YESES!
One of our sales experts, Mark Heerema, told us, "I realized that in order for me to really succeed, and this is my first lesson - that I had to get my NOs in order to get yeses. I was never taught that, no one ever told me that. So what I learned was, "No" is inevitable - I was going to get no - the question was, what was I going to do with it?"
In the movie, almost all of our fabulous experts agreed that most people get a no and that is it, it's over. The end of the road! Of course what the people in the movie think when they hear 'no' is exactly the opposite - they figure a way to go around it and they understand that 'no doesn't mean never, it means not yet.' It has clearly been a huge factor in their success.
When you get a 'no' don't throw it away. There are only two times you do take a NO and let it go.
1) It was a Good No. The person as it turns out is completely unqualified for what you are offering. (Example: my husband Richard is a really bad candidate for hair care products.)
2) They have told you 'no' and expressed to you that it really is a 'never' and to push beyond would be rude and disrespectful.
Otherwise, nurture your no's as they often will grow up to become YESES!
Friday, August 5, 2011
Fear of the No
We got a great question last week on twitter. It had to do with feeling afraid to 'go for no.' What do you do when you have that fear? It's important to start asking some questions of yourself to drill down to the root of the fear. What are you really afraid of?
Are you afraid of the 'no' because you (desperately) need the yes? This is understandable but guess what... the person is going to do what they are going to do most of the time regardless of you. While you might make the absolute best 'presentation' and give your best effort - ultimately their decision is theirs. So try to relax and detach from the outcome. It makes for less stress and less fear!
Are you afraid of the person getting upset at you? Also understandable. No one wants to make an enemy. Or come across annoying or pushy. But the next question is: are you on a mission? Do you have something that you believe in so strongly that you need to communicate it and therefore potentially and temporarily irritate someone? Do you believe this person needs to hear your story? Stop worrying about the result and focus on your mission. If the person gets upset, thank them for hearing you out and let it go.
Are you afraid of a yes? I know, weird, right? Perhaps underlying the fear is some anxiety around being successful. You might have a fear of being exposed - incapable of delivering on what you are providing for that 'yes.' Susan Jeffers says most all fear is related to the idea that we "can't handle" what comes our way. You need to trust in yourself and grow your confidence. (This is the one that may take some work!) Affirm to yourself that you can handle it. Think about all the great things you have accomplished so far. Realize that you are going to continue on this magnificent journey that you are creating despite these fears. In other words, you are NOT going to say 'no' to yourself.
Are you afraid of the 'no' because you (desperately) need the yes? This is understandable but guess what... the person is going to do what they are going to do most of the time regardless of you. While you might make the absolute best 'presentation' and give your best effort - ultimately their decision is theirs. So try to relax and detach from the outcome. It makes for less stress and less fear!
Are you afraid of the person getting upset at you? Also understandable. No one wants to make an enemy. Or come across annoying or pushy. But the next question is: are you on a mission? Do you have something that you believe in so strongly that you need to communicate it and therefore potentially and temporarily irritate someone? Do you believe this person needs to hear your story? Stop worrying about the result and focus on your mission. If the person gets upset, thank them for hearing you out and let it go.
Are you afraid of a yes? I know, weird, right? Perhaps underlying the fear is some anxiety around being successful. You might have a fear of being exposed - incapable of delivering on what you are providing for that 'yes.' Susan Jeffers says most all fear is related to the idea that we "can't handle" what comes our way. You need to trust in yourself and grow your confidence. (This is the one that may take some work!) Affirm to yourself that you can handle it. Think about all the great things you have accomplished so far. Realize that you are going to continue on this magnificent journey that you are creating despite these fears. In other words, you are NOT going to say 'no' to yourself.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Picking up a CHANCE card
Remember playing the board game, Monopoly? Did you have a favorite playing piece? The dog? The shoe? Top hat? I thought the little silver car was pretty cool. I feared going to jail. And my favorite thing of all was landing on the "CHANCE" square and getting to pick up a CHANCE card.
It was so exciting. Nothing but opportunity - a chance, literally, for something amazing to happen. Or even something not so great. I didn't care - I loved the suspense, excitement and the risk. I guess that's why I love being an entrepreneur. Each day I wake up, I feel like I'm picking up a CHANCE card. Each day is an opportunity for something amazing to happen - or something not so great. But it's a chance! And that's I all I want.
I don't expect everyone to be like me. But I will say that life is a lot more fun and interesting when you let yourself play. Give yourself the opportunity to have that CHANCE!
"All life is a chance. The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare." - Dale Carnegie
It was so exciting. Nothing but opportunity - a chance, literally, for something amazing to happen. Or even something not so great. I didn't care - I loved the suspense, excitement and the risk. I guess that's why I love being an entrepreneur. Each day I wake up, I feel like I'm picking up a CHANCE card. Each day is an opportunity for something amazing to happen - or something not so great. But it's a chance! And that's I all I want.
I don't expect everyone to be like me. But I will say that life is a lot more fun and interesting when you let yourself play. Give yourself the opportunity to have that CHANCE!
"All life is a chance. The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare." - Dale Carnegie
Friday, July 29, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
The Aladdin Factor Full Circle
In the mid 90's I came across a book with a title that I could not pass up - it was called The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. I flipped the book over and saw this: "Anything is possible... if you dare to ask!" The only books I had ever bought were for "fun" but I HAD to know about this and bought it on the spot. I fell in love with this book as I had never considered something so simple and yet so profound - and actually with so much depth.
Months later, Richard Fenton (now my husband and business partner) would share with me the "go for no" philosophy. Although at that time it was just a message that he would share - there was no book, training or business there at all. The entire idea of "going for no" and "daring to ask" were things that I let drift early on. When I am honest about it, I really just cared WAY TOO MUCH about what people thought of me, that they would like me, and so the idea of asking for anything had been entirely drummed out of me because I let it.
So after embracing 'go for no' with a passion and helping Richard write the book, we eventually decided that we were on a mission to change the perception around no, failure, and rejection. The business was born. As with most things it has taken far longer than we thought it would but we have not given up even when things have been slow or tough.
In 2009, we decided to make a movie; a documentary style DVD we called "Yes is the Destination, No is How You Get There". We drove 12,000 miles all over country interviewing top achievers about how they used hearing 'no' and failures and rejections to eventually reach their level of great success.
One of the people we interviewed was Jack Canfield, co-author of the book that changed my life and got me to start asking again. Jack's interview was, of course, amazing. He is clearly one of the great inspirational thought leaders of our time. When we were about to leave, Jack grabbed a First Edition of "The Aladdin Factor" from his bookcase, one of three remaining, and signed the copy to us.
Months later, Richard Fenton (now my husband and business partner) would share with me the "go for no" philosophy. Although at that time it was just a message that he would share - there was no book, training or business there at all. The entire idea of "going for no" and "daring to ask" were things that I let drift early on. When I am honest about it, I really just cared WAY TOO MUCH about what people thought of me, that they would like me, and so the idea of asking for anything had been entirely drummed out of me because I let it.
So after embracing 'go for no' with a passion and helping Richard write the book, we eventually decided that we were on a mission to change the perception around no, failure, and rejection. The business was born. As with most things it has taken far longer than we thought it would but we have not given up even when things have been slow or tough.
In 2009, we decided to make a movie; a documentary style DVD we called "Yes is the Destination, No is How You Get There". We drove 12,000 miles all over country interviewing top achievers about how they used hearing 'no' and failures and rejections to eventually reach their level of great success.
One of the people we interviewed was Jack Canfield, co-author of the book that changed my life and got me to start asking again. Jack's interview was, of course, amazing. He is clearly one of the great inspirational thought leaders of our time. When we were about to leave, Jack grabbed a First Edition of "The Aladdin Factor" from his bookcase, one of three remaining, and signed the copy to us.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
My little lesson in fear
"You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations of your own mind." - Darwin P. Kingsley
One of the most disastrous moments of my life was in junior high school. Okay, actually all of junior high was disastrous but this was particularly bad. It was "Oral Report" time and I had to chosen to speak about the dangers of smoking. I had my notes carefully written out - in pencil - on 3 by 5 note cards. Oral reports usually took days to get through. But it finally happened... "Andrea - you are up!"
My stomach lurched. I stumbled to the front of the room. My note cards were barely readable (why did I use pencil??) and seemed out of order... or were they? My voice shook as I began - steadied myself against the podium. My normal functioning shut down. It was about survival. At some point I must have finished and I do recall making my way back to my chair to the snickers of classmates. It was really, really bad. Really bad. It was also the day I decided that I would make it my life's mission to do as little public speaking as humanly possible for as long as I lived. In the years following, I would do everything within my power to avoid speaking to a group. If you had told me then that I would make a living speaking - as in "professionally" as in - "paid" I never would have believed it.
But time moves on and circumstances, and people, change.
I have become a speaker in part because of the passion I have for the Go for No message and the sheer thrill and joy I get from doing it now. I am certainly not the greatest speaker you'll ever hear. (I am a lot better than I was in junior high.) I have learned that what you think you can or cannot do, what fears you think you will hold onto forever, can be changed. With a little passion, courage, and willingness to be bad for a while - life can offer amazing things when we allow it to.
One of the most disastrous moments of my life was in junior high school. Okay, actually all of junior high was disastrous but this was particularly bad. It was "Oral Report" time and I had to chosen to speak about the dangers of smoking. I had my notes carefully written out - in pencil - on 3 by 5 note cards. Oral reports usually took days to get through. But it finally happened... "Andrea - you are up!"
My stomach lurched. I stumbled to the front of the room. My note cards were barely readable (why did I use pencil??) and seemed out of order... or were they? My voice shook as I began - steadied myself against the podium. My normal functioning shut down. It was about survival. At some point I must have finished and I do recall making my way back to my chair to the snickers of classmates. It was really, really bad. Really bad. It was also the day I decided that I would make it my life's mission to do as little public speaking as humanly possible for as long as I lived. In the years following, I would do everything within my power to avoid speaking to a group. If you had told me then that I would make a living speaking - as in "professionally" as in - "paid" I never would have believed it.
But time moves on and circumstances, and people, change.
I have become a speaker in part because of the passion I have for the Go for No message and the sheer thrill and joy I get from doing it now. I am certainly not the greatest speaker you'll ever hear. (I am a lot better than I was in junior high.) I have learned that what you think you can or cannot do, what fears you think you will hold onto forever, can be changed. With a little passion, courage, and willingness to be bad for a while - life can offer amazing things when we allow it to.
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