Fear of the No

We got a great question last week on twitter. It had to do with feeling afraid to 'go for no.' What do you do when you have that fear? It's important to start asking some questions of yourself to drill down to the root of the fear. What are you really afraid of? 

Are you afraid of the 'no' because you (desperately) need the yes? This is understandable but guess what... the person is going to do what they are going to do most of the time regardless of you. While you might make the absolute best 'presentation' and give your best effort - ultimately their decision is theirs. So try to relax and detach from the outcome. It makes for less stress and less fear!

Are you afraid of the person getting upset at you? Also understandable. No one wants to make an enemy. Or come across annoying or pushy. But the next question is: are you on a mission? Do you have something that you believe in so strongly that you need to communicate it and therefore potentially and temporarily irritate someone? Do you believe this person needs to hear your story? Stop worrying about the result and focus on your mission. If the person gets upset, thank them for hearing you out and let it go.

Are you afraid of a yes? I know, weird, right? Perhaps underlying the fear is some anxiety around being successful. You might have a fear of being exposed - incapable of delivering on what you are providing for that 'yes.' Susan Jeffers says most all fear is related to the idea that we "can't handle" what comes our way. You need to trust in yourself and grow your confidence. (This is the one that may take some work!) Affirm to yourself that you can handle it. Think about all the great things you have accomplished so far. Realize that you are going to continue on this magnificent journey that you are creating despite these fears. In other words, you are NOT going to say 'no' to yourself.