When shopping the other night, I (Andrea) was pleasantly surprised at the assertive nature of most of the associates in the stores I was entering; specifically: Origins, Aveda, Saks, Moonstruck Chocolate (a Portland Oregon specialty), Something Silver, The Fossil Cartel, Sharper Image, Swarovski and L'Occitane.
bebe's attention to customers was noticeably absent. We don't judge a company on one shop however, and in fact have had previous good experiences (from our retail service across America tour) at bebe. The associate was hurrying me out of the store (without my purchase that was still laying on her counter) - no "go for no" behaviors there.
So, almost all stores had people who were proactively greeting, asking if they could help (normally we don't recommend such an approach but for the "purpose-driven" shopping season this works) and overall communication WAS happening! People were actually selling! In retail stores! And "going for no!" ... at least in the beginning.
Still retail store teams lacking in getting "no's" from customers in the closing phase of the interaction (asking for the sale) and in the moment where they ideally should adding on to the sale; suggesting additional products etc.
But still I was intrigued by the increase in assertiveness across the board. Could it be that some of the "fear" of failure... rejection... upsetting customers has been temporarily lifted since after all it is Christmas and people are in fact, shopping and buying. I wonder...
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Sunday, November 25, 2007
Sorted Book Project
We learned of this site through Tom Peters. It is called the Sorted Book Project and looks rather simple - but it seems some of the most unique works of art are radically simple.
In this case, to quote the web site (of Nina Katchadourian) "the project began in 1993... taken place in many different places over the years... From private homes to specialized public book collections. The process is the same in every case... pulling particular titles, and eventually grouping the books into clusters so that the titles can be read in sequence, from top to bottom... then displayed either as photographs of the book clusters or as the actual stacks themselves... the clusters aim to examine that particular library's focus, idiosyncrasies, and inconsistencies — a cross-section of that library's holdings."
What struck us was the photo of one sorting with the following titles: "When I Say No I Feel Guilty, then "God Always Says Yes", followed by "Don't Say Yes When You Want to Say No"...
It seemed to us this combination desperately cries out for a copy of "Go for No!" at the end of the collection. Looking at our collection of books on yes, no, failure, success, we could have quite a book sort ourselves on the topic.
Andrea took a quick shot of the books that have made their way onto our book shleves most recently. We did not attempt to sort them per the 'book sort' process yet maybe as you look at these you'll see a connection. Darn, forgot "Go for No!" again.
In this case, to quote the web site (of Nina Katchadourian) "the project began in 1993... taken place in many different places over the years... From private homes to specialized public book collections. The process is the same in every case... pulling particular titles, and eventually grouping the books into clusters so that the titles can be read in sequence, from top to bottom... then displayed either as photographs of the book clusters or as the actual stacks themselves... the clusters aim to examine that particular library's focus, idiosyncrasies, and inconsistencies — a cross-section of that library's holdings."
What struck us was the photo of one sorting with the following titles: "When I Say No I Feel Guilty, then "God Always Says Yes", followed by "Don't Say Yes When You Want to Say No"...
It seemed to us this combination desperately cries out for a copy of "Go for No!" at the end of the collection. Looking at our collection of books on yes, no, failure, success, we could have quite a book sort ourselves on the topic.
Andrea took a quick shot of the books that have made their way onto our book shleves most recently. We did not attempt to sort them per the 'book sort' process yet maybe as you look at these you'll see a connection. Darn, forgot "Go for No!" again.
Saturday, October 6, 2007
Go for No - Richard Fenton and Andrea Waltz -- COS BOOK TRAI
Our new "Go for No!"
edu-merical... Go for No is the Greatest Success Strategy in the World!
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
High Perfomers International
Richard Fenton will be the speaker for the September 19th event at the Oregon Convention Center teaching the 400+ audience at High Performers Intl, a Portland based professional development seminar company how to go for no!
The fear of "no" and people's need to not just to overcome it but to embrace it is a full time occupation for us!
Two letters, N and O. Too many of us avoid it at all costs, the result of which not only stifles our own experiences in life but potentially those of others too. Have you ever not asked someone something for fear that they'd tell you no? If so, why? And did you ever find out that the decision NOT to ask actually made things worse? Go for no is not just a 'sales philosophy' it is a life philosophy too.
The fear of "no" and people's need to not just to overcome it but to embrace it is a full time occupation for us!
Two letters, N and O. Too many of us avoid it at all costs, the result of which not only stifles our own experiences in life but potentially those of others too. Have you ever not asked someone something for fear that they'd tell you no? If so, why? And did you ever find out that the decision NOT to ask actually made things worse? Go for no is not just a 'sales philosophy' it is a life philosophy too.
Friday, August 10, 2007
Perspective of Failure
Our mantras; things like, "fail your way to success" and "go for no!" require us to re frame our perspective. It's one of the core concepts we talk about in our go for no "sales training program" and in Rich's "go for no" seminars.
Example: when you walk into a room with stuff scattered around... you make a judgement about the state of the room based on your perspective. Maybe to you, it's a total mess. But someone else may see it as almost clean based on their perspective.
So you've called on ten prospects and gotten ten no's. Some see this as a failure, a disaster. We choose to see it as making progress - the stepping stone on the way to success. How you choose to frame the word "no" will dictate how well you can learn to harness the power of no to your benefit!
Example: when you walk into a room with stuff scattered around... you make a judgement about the state of the room based on your perspective. Maybe to you, it's a total mess. But someone else may see it as almost clean based on their perspective.
So you've called on ten prospects and gotten ten no's. Some see this as a failure, a disaster. We choose to see it as making progress - the stepping stone on the way to success. How you choose to frame the word "no" will dictate how well you can learn to harness the power of no to your benefit!
Tuesday, July 31, 2007
Dealing with Fear
A big part of being willing to fail is to get over the fear. There are lots of different opinions on how to do this and on our Courage Crafters Show we are interviewing experts on the topic.
One is Amanda Murphy, the Courage Lender. We like Amanda's take on many things including her thoughts surrendering to the outcome. This really does allow you to stop the constant fear and worry from taking control of your life.
Our next Guest is Susan Jeffers, author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway! The show is this Thursday, August 2nd. Be sure to come listen and download this podcast as well as all our other shows!
One is Amanda Murphy, the Courage Lender. We like Amanda's take on many things including her thoughts surrendering to the outcome. This really does allow you to stop the constant fear and worry from taking control of your life.
Our next Guest is Susan Jeffers, author of Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway! The show is this Thursday, August 2nd. Be sure to come listen and download this podcast as well as all our other shows!
Tuesday, July 24, 2007
A Perfect Mess
Are you stalling out on your plans because you are afraid to fail? AKA: You are a perfectionist! You might be relieved to find out about the book, "A Perfect Mess".
There is some compelling research that shows a messy desk isn't as disastrous as previously believed. Could it offer some benefits of its own? The answer seems to be Yes! This is great news for me. I actually enjoy piling everything on my desk and sorting through. Tom Peters has a great interview with one of the authors of the book, Dave Freedman, on his website.
There is some compelling research that shows a messy desk isn't as disastrous as previously believed. Could it offer some benefits of its own? The answer seems to be Yes! This is great news for me. I actually enjoy piling everything on my desk and sorting through. Tom Peters has a great interview with one of the authors of the book, Dave Freedman, on his website.
Wednesday, July 18, 2007
Stop Letting What Others Think Rule Your Life
One of my (Andrea) favorite "fun" books - not business books - is "Olivia Joules and the Overactive Imagination" by Helen Fielding. She also wrote the Bridget Jones books. It is a fun read about a crazy-ish girl who ends up as a "spy" in all kinds of unbelievable situations.
The main character, Olivia, has some Rules for Living that she goes by. Her "rules" while not maybe as powerful as those from Tony Robbins or Jack Canfield or other personal development gurus are actually quite profound.
Examples include: Rule 1) Never panic. Stop, breathe, think. Rule 10) Only buy clothes that make you feel like doing a small dance. But here is my favorite:
Rule 2) No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves just like you.
This is a huge element to being willing to fail your way to success, to learn to go for no, to do things that stretch you that others may doubt your sanity over! Do you keep yourself from doing what you want because of others? Many people are willing to easily give you their thoughts, even criticsm but then they go on their own way - worried about their own lives, not even thinking about you!
Don't let your worries of what others will think of you ever, ever, ever stop you!
The main character, Olivia, has some Rules for Living that she goes by. Her "rules" while not maybe as powerful as those from Tony Robbins or Jack Canfield or other personal development gurus are actually quite profound.
Examples include: Rule 1) Never panic. Stop, breathe, think. Rule 10) Only buy clothes that make you feel like doing a small dance. But here is my favorite:
Rule 2) No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves just like you.
This is a huge element to being willing to fail your way to success, to learn to go for no, to do things that stretch you that others may doubt your sanity over! Do you keep yourself from doing what you want because of others? Many people are willing to easily give you their thoughts, even criticsm but then they go on their own way - worried about their own lives, not even thinking about you!
Don't let your worries of what others will think of you ever, ever, ever stop you!
Sunday, July 15, 2007
Go for No Video
As part of our upcoming Go for No! Workshop-In-A-Box program, we include a 49 minute video of Richard Fenton delivering his Greatest Success Strategy in the World keynote presentation. Watch a clip of this video now on You Tube.
Thursday, July 5, 2007
Repotting
We sure love talking about the power of "no." Today's episode on our VoiceAmerica Business - Courage Crafters Show was all about "Go for No!"
Next week, we have on the authors of "Repotting" Ginger Pape and Diana Holman. These ladies have written a great book. I think my favorite quote (although there are many) was Rule 6 in the "Rules of Repotting" which is to Find Your Authentic Self - Write Your Story. They say, "Women toady are asking themselves: Why put off being who I really want to be? We don't have the luxury of living a "practice" life."
We believe that life should be crazy, fun, mixed up, and an experiment. Fail! Succeed! Repot!
So, on the subject of "repotting" I, Andrea, had actually never repotted an actual plant. Truth be told no plant ever survived long enough. Except... for the last two years I have had a wonderful plant that has grown and grown despite being under my care.
So I took my plant, got in the car and went to the local nursery where I planned to have them repot my plant. However, as the nice woman at the nursery explained to me - who I was going to PAY MONEY to for this repotting service - they don't do it.
With instructions, a new yellow pot, and soil I left to repot. As it turns out the roots of this plant had become so twisted, tangled and long that I literally had to cut off the pot to finally get it out. The amazing news is I did it and the plant is still living. I was so excited that I called my mother to tell her and, buoyed by my success I repotted my other 2 plants.
So, lessons I learned: 1) If you don't repot often enough your roots get so long and tangled it gets harder and harder. 2) No one will repot for you. 3) I am a repotter both in my plant life and life-life.
Listen to our next show The Courage to Grow next Thursday, July 12th at 10 am!
Next week, we have on the authors of "Repotting" Ginger Pape and Diana Holman. These ladies have written a great book. I think my favorite quote (although there are many) was Rule 6 in the "Rules of Repotting" which is to Find Your Authentic Self - Write Your Story. They say, "Women toady are asking themselves: Why put off being who I really want to be? We don't have the luxury of living a "practice" life."
We believe that life should be crazy, fun, mixed up, and an experiment. Fail! Succeed! Repot!
So, on the subject of "repotting" I, Andrea, had actually never repotted an actual plant. Truth be told no plant ever survived long enough. Except... for the last two years I have had a wonderful plant that has grown and grown despite being under my care.
So I took my plant, got in the car and went to the local nursery where I planned to have them repot my plant. However, as the nice woman at the nursery explained to me - who I was going to PAY MONEY to for this repotting service - they don't do it.
With instructions, a new yellow pot, and soil I left to repot. As it turns out the roots of this plant had become so twisted, tangled and long that I literally had to cut off the pot to finally get it out. The amazing news is I did it and the plant is still living. I was so excited that I called my mother to tell her and, buoyed by my success I repotted my other 2 plants.
So, lessons I learned: 1) If you don't repot often enough your roots get so long and tangled it gets harder and harder. 2) No one will repot for you. 3) I am a repotter both in my plant life and life-life.
Listen to our next show The Courage to Grow next Thursday, July 12th at 10 am!
Friday, June 22, 2007
The Courage Crafters Show
We did our 7th episode of the Courage Crafters Show yesterday with speaker and sales trainer Joel Weldon. What a classy guy and so knowledgeable about how to build sales and serve clients.
In Joel's own business (and for the last 30 years) he doesn't cold call, he doesn't "market"or mail flyers, he doesn't use booking agents, it's all referrals! And Joel believes in the power of the go for no philosophy.
Listen to show now by downloading the MP3 and hear to Joel Weldon discuss his philosophies on selling and his amazing ideas on how to generate high quality referrals. We can say... if you do it right, you'll have more business than you know what to do with and it's probably not what you think!
In Joel's own business (and for the last 30 years) he doesn't cold call, he doesn't "market"or mail flyers, he doesn't use booking agents, it's all referrals! And Joel believes in the power of the go for no philosophy.
Listen to show now by downloading the MP3 and hear to Joel Weldon discuss his philosophies on selling and his amazing ideas on how to generate high quality referrals. We can say... if you do it right, you'll have more business than you know what to do with and it's probably not what you think!
Wednesday, June 20, 2007
The Man Who Paints with His Nose
The next time you feel like life is not giving you all you want and deserve, you must step back and gain some perspective.
We know, it's hard when you are too busy worrying about what you don't have. Really you have to snap out of it. It's what helps us make "failing our way to success" fun and do-able! When things go wrong, we make a mistake, a business idea flops, we step back and gain that perspective.
Last year we were in our old hometown of Los Angeles walking through Santa Monica's 3rd St. Promenade. We noticed a man in a wheel chair in his own world painting away... but he wasn't painting with his hands or fingers. Or even arms. Or feet. He was painting with his nose. Afflicated with cerebal palsy since birth, Gille Legacy has had no use of his arms or legs. But for the last 40 years he has been painting. He has also written and published four books of poetry and short stories. They are all typed on his compuer. With his nose.
To try to explain to you something about this person is like describing a perfect sunset, you have to see it. Not only does he have talent he has an amazing perspective. We encourage you to visit Gille's web site; learn about him on his amazing video The Man Who Paints With His Nose.
It has been said that excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure. Gille makes no excuses.
We know, it's hard when you are too busy worrying about what you don't have. Really you have to snap out of it. It's what helps us make "failing our way to success" fun and do-able! When things go wrong, we make a mistake, a business idea flops, we step back and gain that perspective.
Last year we were in our old hometown of Los Angeles walking through Santa Monica's 3rd St. Promenade. We noticed a man in a wheel chair in his own world painting away... but he wasn't painting with his hands or fingers. Or even arms. Or feet. He was painting with his nose. Afflicated with cerebal palsy since birth, Gille Legacy has had no use of his arms or legs. But for the last 40 years he has been painting. He has also written and published four books of poetry and short stories. They are all typed on his compuer. With his nose.
To try to explain to you something about this person is like describing a perfect sunset, you have to see it. Not only does he have talent he has an amazing perspective. We encourage you to visit Gille's web site; learn about him on his amazing video The Man Who Paints With His Nose.
It has been said that excuses are the nails used to build a house of failure. Gille makes no excuses.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Chasing Tom Peters
Chasing might be a strong word. Slowly cornering.
We decided that one of the important marketing strategies when it comes to spreading the word about our book, Go for No! is to get endorsements from high profile business leaders, consultants and experts. Our first choice is Tom Peters. We have not gotten a "no" from him yet. We haven't gotten anything yet actually. I mailed a copy of the book a couple weeks ago. That was step 1. Step 2 was to ask listeners of the Courage Crafters Show to hook us up if they know Tom or know someone who knows Tom. Nothing yet.
Why Tom Peters? Tom inspired us to leave our corporate jobs and start our own business. He is an awesome speaker, genius observer of all things business; we love his radical ideas and ability to make you think differently. We wanted to do some of those ideas and when we saw they weren't going to fly in our own jobs we wanted out even more. Plus Tom believes the failure-success connection as do we.
So, until we get a "no" we'll continue to go for no with Tom.
We decided that one of the important marketing strategies when it comes to spreading the word about our book, Go for No! is to get endorsements from high profile business leaders, consultants and experts. Our first choice is Tom Peters. We have not gotten a "no" from him yet. We haven't gotten anything yet actually. I mailed a copy of the book a couple weeks ago. That was step 1. Step 2 was to ask listeners of the Courage Crafters Show to hook us up if they know Tom or know someone who knows Tom. Nothing yet.
Why Tom Peters? Tom inspired us to leave our corporate jobs and start our own business. He is an awesome speaker, genius observer of all things business; we love his radical ideas and ability to make you think differently. We wanted to do some of those ideas and when we saw they weren't going to fly in our own jobs we wanted out even more. Plus Tom believes the failure-success connection as do we.
So, until we get a "no" we'll continue to go for no with Tom.
Thursday, May 31, 2007
Mastering the Ultimate Strategy for Failing Your Way to Success
In our book "Go for No!" we make the case for getting more people to say NO to you so that you increase your sales success - and actually it works for just about everything in life. But now we have finally taken the sales strategy blown it up by releasing our "Go for No! 3 CD Audio Program" that takes listeners through the 20 core concepts to Going for No!
For example, we explain why if your success rate is over 30% you probably aren't challenging yourself enough.
We encourage you to get big No's! It takes no more energy to get a big no than to get a small one. For example, do you talk yourself out of going to the "head honcho" or the "big client" because you don't think you deserve it. Hey, if you are going to get a "no" make it worthwhile!
We talk about why "yes" and "no" should be of equal emotional intensity and how to do that. For example, do you feel awful when you her "no" but great when you hear "yes"? That's a natural responses but there is a better way!
We discuss in detail when quality of presentation is critical as compared to quantity of presentations... and why... and how to use this in your business.
We are thrilled that we have this program because we really believe that by going for no you can increase sales, increase profits, learn to overcome your fears of failure and rejection by seeking failure and rejection, and create satisfied and loyal clients... and ultimately helping you achieve what you want in life.
For example, we explain why if your success rate is over 30% you probably aren't challenging yourself enough.
We encourage you to get big No's! It takes no more energy to get a big no than to get a small one. For example, do you talk yourself out of going to the "head honcho" or the "big client" because you don't think you deserve it. Hey, if you are going to get a "no" make it worthwhile!
We talk about why "yes" and "no" should be of equal emotional intensity and how to do that. For example, do you feel awful when you her "no" but great when you hear "yes"? That's a natural responses but there is a better way!
We discuss in detail when quality of presentation is critical as compared to quantity of presentations... and why... and how to use this in your business.
We are thrilled that we have this program because we really believe that by going for no you can increase sales, increase profits, learn to overcome your fears of failure and rejection by seeking failure and rejection, and create satisfied and loyal clients... and ultimately helping you achieve what you want in life.
Wednesday, May 23, 2007
Failing Okay with Dr. Laura
Dr. Laura had a great position on her radio show yesterday. A woman called in concerned that she was teaching her son to be afraid of failing. It seemed that her and her husband had made his success in little league so important that he was getting stressed out and almost not wanting to play anymore.
Dr. Laura suggested that the woman involve her son in activities where she knew they would fail. Dr. Laura said something to the effect of, get out there and do something - some activity and at the end of it, even though you won't be successful, reinforce the fun of it just for having tried... don't even mention the failure, just talk up the activity itself. Encourage the boy to want to do things and try things regardless of the outcome; the success or failure.
Dr. Laura applauded the woman for being a good parent, and she's right. Fear of failure is a great harm to us all. This young boy will hopefully be taught a valuable lesson early enough that his whole life will go differently... When was the last time you did something or tried something even though you knew you would or could fail? Do you hate failing so much that you shrink from enjoying new and different activities in life?
Dr. Laura suggested that the woman involve her son in activities where she knew they would fail. Dr. Laura said something to the effect of, get out there and do something - some activity and at the end of it, even though you won't be successful, reinforce the fun of it just for having tried... don't even mention the failure, just talk up the activity itself. Encourage the boy to want to do things and try things regardless of the outcome; the success or failure.
Dr. Laura applauded the woman for being a good parent, and she's right. Fear of failure is a great harm to us all. This young boy will hopefully be taught a valuable lesson early enough that his whole life will go differently... When was the last time you did something or tried something even though you knew you would or could fail? Do you hate failing so much that you shrink from enjoying new and different activities in life?
Friday, March 30, 2007
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Failing Your Way to Success Part 2
When it comes to our ROAR! E-Zine, we are definitely living the fail your way to success philosophy more than we probably ever imagined. This evening I am faced with yet another technical difficulty (the e-zine was sent basically "unreadable") and I realize that I have a choice.
Having recently began an in depth study of the book Play to Win! Choosing Growth Over Comfort in Work and Life by Larry & Hersch Wilson (a brilliant book) I know that the key strategy in these moments is to: 1) Stop 2) Challenge and 3) Choose. The challenge part being to challenge our assumptions and paradigms about how bad the situation really is. The reality is many of us take failures to an extreme with "end of the world" thinking.
When we started our business, almost ten years ago now, Rich and I had a printed newsletter that we mailed out to subscribers. We would agonize for hours editing and making sure everything was perfect. Upon getting our second issue back from the printer we discovered that the footer of the front page still said 'Premier Issue'. We then agonized and debated on what to do about this. Finally we decided to print out fluorescent stickers (labels actually) with a little message to our readership. It fit perfectly over the words premier issue and looked decent enough. I remember being quite upset about this "fiasco" at the time plus all the extra work it caused but I think this story illustrates two key points.
The first is, we are brilliant problem solvers and the second is... we now look back on that and laugh. We aren't nearly as crazed. We know now that turning "failures" into catastrophes does not serve us. Failing is art of the joy of what we do, it means we are living, learning, and growing.
So I choose to relax, understanding that this is at most inconvenient and that some day soon even this minor annoyance will weave itself into the tapestry that are the failures and successes of my life experience.
Having recently began an in depth study of the book Play to Win! Choosing Growth Over Comfort in Work and Life by Larry & Hersch Wilson (a brilliant book) I know that the key strategy in these moments is to: 1) Stop 2) Challenge and 3) Choose. The challenge part being to challenge our assumptions and paradigms about how bad the situation really is. The reality is many of us take failures to an extreme with "end of the world" thinking.
When we started our business, almost ten years ago now, Rich and I had a printed newsletter that we mailed out to subscribers. We would agonize for hours editing and making sure everything was perfect. Upon getting our second issue back from the printer we discovered that the footer of the front page still said 'Premier Issue'. We then agonized and debated on what to do about this. Finally we decided to print out fluorescent stickers (labels actually) with a little message to our readership. It fit perfectly over the words premier issue and looked decent enough. I remember being quite upset about this "fiasco" at the time plus all the extra work it caused but I think this story illustrates two key points.
The first is, we are brilliant problem solvers and the second is... we now look back on that and laugh. We aren't nearly as crazed. We know now that turning "failures" into catastrophes does not serve us. Failing is art of the joy of what we do, it means we are living, learning, and growing.
So I choose to relax, understanding that this is at most inconvenient and that some day soon even this minor annoyance will weave itself into the tapestry that are the failures and successes of my life experience.
Friday, March 2, 2007
The Only Thing Standing Between You and Success...
... Is you.
At Courage Crafters one of the main elements of what we talk about has to do with fear. Yesterday on the mian page of Comcast.net there was a segment on "Scared Celebs" - celebrities with fears; such as: mirrors, shaking hands, pigs, revolving doors, and chewing gum (this is supposedly Oprah's). As ones who make it their business to study fear, we find this very interesting. Most of us have some phobias, many of which are completely unfounded but some do keep us from harm. We have a huge phobia about jumping out of an airplane without a parachute for example.
But these unique phobias, (for example: gymnophobia which is the fear of nudity) tend not to influence our success. However, it is the common fears; fear of failure, rejection, the word "No" that truly impede us from achieving everything life has to offer. And it is these fears under which we actually have the most power and control. That is the good news because we have somewhere to start - we start with ourselves, our thoughts and our actions. It is these fears that inspired us to create our 2 CD set The Fear Factory. A unique story, done in what we call an "audio play" format, the Fear Factory might be just what you need to get beyond these common fears to achieve everything you desire.
At Courage Crafters one of the main elements of what we talk about has to do with fear. Yesterday on the mian page of Comcast.net there was a segment on "Scared Celebs" - celebrities with fears; such as: mirrors, shaking hands, pigs, revolving doors, and chewing gum (this is supposedly Oprah's). As ones who make it their business to study fear, we find this very interesting. Most of us have some phobias, many of which are completely unfounded but some do keep us from harm. We have a huge phobia about jumping out of an airplane without a parachute for example.
But these unique phobias, (for example: gymnophobia which is the fear of nudity) tend not to influence our success. However, it is the common fears; fear of failure, rejection, the word "No" that truly impede us from achieving everything life has to offer. And it is these fears under which we actually have the most power and control. That is the good news because we have somewhere to start - we start with ourselves, our thoughts and our actions. It is these fears that inspired us to create our 2 CD set The Fear Factory. A unique story, done in what we call an "audio play" format, the Fear Factory might be just what you need to get beyond these common fears to achieve everything you desire.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Failing on the Streets of LA
When were in Los Angeles last week for Andrea's appearance on the TV Guide Channel Show "Idol Chat" we got a chance to drive around our old neighborhood. Andrea has an amazing knowledge of the streets of Los Angeles, having us turn here and there as if she drove them everyday still.
And her amazing ability is from...? As she explains, "I got lost so many times I really learned how to navigate my way around." Another good example of a positive "failure" which has now led to a highly successful navigator of Santa Monica and surrounding environs. As Andrea explains...
"I realized even at the time I was driving around and taking extra time to get places that I was discovering the right ways by doing it all wrong. It actually helped reduce my frustration level too because I was able to see the positive side."
This is an important lesson, one we remind ourselves of consistently; when we are failing at something, we are still learning and that ultimately will help us be more successful.
And her amazing ability is from...? As she explains, "I got lost so many times I really learned how to navigate my way around." Another good example of a positive "failure" which has now led to a highly successful navigator of Santa Monica and surrounding environs. As Andrea explains...
"I realized even at the time I was driving around and taking extra time to get places that I was discovering the right ways by doing it all wrong. It actually helped reduce my frustration level too because I was able to see the positive side."
This is an important lesson, one we remind ourselves of consistently; when we are failing at something, we are still learning and that ultimately will help us be more successful.
Monday, February 12, 2007
Courage Crafter Engages in 'Idol Chat'
This past Friday we had an exciting opportunity. Andrea was invited as a guest (Failure Expert)on the TV Guide Channel's "Idol Chat" hosted by former Idol Contestant Kimberly Caldwell and Reality TV Pop Star Rosanna Tavarez.
The topic was from our recent press release entitled "Failure Experts Claim that Rejected American Idol Contestants are More Successful than Most Americans." Obviously, we are not referring to the success around the "singing"but rather the courage to be in the competition; to try and be willing to fail. Ultimately, the willingness to face rejection will propel these contestants (maybe not in singing and dancing!) to higher levels of success than most. It's a trait that is unfortunately not exercised by most of us that prefer to sit on the sidelines and judge.
We have no idea how Andrea did on the show as we haven't even seen it yet but as people who believe in always taking the risk and having the willingness to fail; she did exactly what we wanted - she did the interview.
After the interview we went Palm Springs for some much needed R & R. Because we are intimately aware of the behaviors-results connection, we both recognize that Rich's behaviors were not in alignment with the results we were after on his Fail Your Way to Success Diet Challenge. Some good behaviors: tennis over 2 days and some light swimming. Not so good behaviors: Two amazing dinners at LG's Steakhouse in Palm Desert and BOA in Santa Monica, and lunch at In-N-Out Burger (at Andrea's insistence). However, never ones to cower in defeat or failure, we press on and promise an update next week.
The topic was from our recent press release entitled "Failure Experts Claim that Rejected American Idol Contestants are More Successful than Most Americans." Obviously, we are not referring to the success around the "singing"but rather the courage to be in the competition; to try and be willing to fail. Ultimately, the willingness to face rejection will propel these contestants (maybe not in singing and dancing!) to higher levels of success than most. It's a trait that is unfortunately not exercised by most of us that prefer to sit on the sidelines and judge.
We have no idea how Andrea did on the show as we haven't even seen it yet but as people who believe in always taking the risk and having the willingness to fail; she did exactly what we wanted - she did the interview.
After the interview we went Palm Springs for some much needed R & R. Because we are intimately aware of the behaviors-results connection, we both recognize that Rich's behaviors were not in alignment with the results we were after on his Fail Your Way to Success Diet Challenge. Some good behaviors: tennis over 2 days and some light swimming. Not so good behaviors: Two amazing dinners at LG's Steakhouse in Palm Desert and BOA in Santa Monica, and lunch at In-N-Out Burger (at Andrea's insistence). However, never ones to cower in defeat or failure, we press on and promise an update next week.
Monday, January 29, 2007
Working to Failure Has Its Costs, Benefits
One week ago I (Rich) started what I call my 40 Day “Fail Your Way to Fitness” Challenge (see last week’s blog for details). Well, working to failure has its benefits… and its cost. First, the benefits.
Apparently, I have lost weight. I say “apparently” because (per the rules) I did a blind weigh in and was not allowed to see the results. But Andrea says they were stellar (see scale photo that Andrea has inserted in the blog). As with most diets, I can feel the difference but can not yet see it in the mirror yet. And when trying on my suit I can see I still have a long way to go. But progress is being made!
To stay within the rules of not being “results” oriented (focusing only on behaviors and working to “failure”) here’s how I changed my workouts. Typically I would count the number of “reps” as I lifted weights. Instead, I simply started lifting and repeating the mantra, “Work to failure! Work to failure!” As such, I have NO IDEA how many reps I did on each machine. I only know the following…
1) I did more reps than I would have done otherwise, and with heavier weight.
2) I hurt like hell.
To be specific, I can barely lift my left arm (having irritated an old rotator-cuff injury) and every thing else, hurts, too! But I can honestly say that the five times I went to the gym last week were the five best workouts I’ve had in a year, including previous workouts with a personal trainer.
So… the approach is clearly working. I am working to failure. I am destroying muscle (perhaps too much!) And I am going to stick with it. March 4th (the date I need to be in my suit) is rapidly approaching, and I know I can’t think myself thin – and, as it is with every other worthwhile achievement in life – I will have to work.
More next week!
Apparently, I have lost weight. I say “apparently” because (per the rules) I did a blind weigh in and was not allowed to see the results. But Andrea says they were stellar (see scale photo that Andrea has inserted in the blog). As with most diets, I can feel the difference but can not yet see it in the mirror yet. And when trying on my suit I can see I still have a long way to go. But progress is being made!
To stay within the rules of not being “results” oriented (focusing only on behaviors and working to “failure”) here’s how I changed my workouts. Typically I would count the number of “reps” as I lifted weights. Instead, I simply started lifting and repeating the mantra, “Work to failure! Work to failure!” As such, I have NO IDEA how many reps I did on each machine. I only know the following…
1) I did more reps than I would have done otherwise, and with heavier weight.
2) I hurt like hell.
To be specific, I can barely lift my left arm (having irritated an old rotator-cuff injury) and every thing else, hurts, too! But I can honestly say that the five times I went to the gym last week were the five best workouts I’ve had in a year, including previous workouts with a personal trainer.
So… the approach is clearly working. I am working to failure. I am destroying muscle (perhaps too much!) And I am going to stick with it. March 4th (the date I need to be in my suit) is rapidly approaching, and I know I can’t think myself thin – and, as it is with every other worthwhile achievement in life – I will have to work.
More next week!
Monday, January 22, 2007
40 Day Fail My Way to Success Fitness Challenge
It’s Richard here, and okay… I admit it – I am an over-eater! Always have been (my nickname in the fifth grade was “Chub-Chub”) and if past behavior is the best predictor of future behavior, I probably always will be.
This is not to say that I’ve given up on my life-long personal quest to get in shape. To the contrary – my thoughts (now that I’m in my 50’s) about the ability of my vessel (my body) to take on the rest of life’s journey have been increasingly health-oriented. But, for right now, my immediate quest is simply to get in my favorite black Hart Schaffner & Marx suit!
Like a bear who has stored up for winter hibernation, I’ve packed on a few pounds during the holidays. But looking at my speaking calendar I discover an important (and rapidly appraoching!) engagement on March 4th that will be video taped for an upcoming DVD product. And while I am aware of the need to reduce calorie intake, I also must acknowledge that my eating habits will probably not change (at least not significantly). So I’m turning to the gym and making exercise the key to my weight-loss quest.
The problem with this plan is that at the gym I see the same people there every time I go… sometimes for years… and they never seem to make any progress! They “workout” 3-5 times a week, and yet they never seem to change (maybe you’re one of them, I know I am!) The question is: Why? Why is it that we workout and yet the work doesn’t seem to pay off? The answer, I’ve come to understand, is that we’re not working to failure – we’re working to the edge of failure… sometime just short of it… but not to it.
And that’s where the magic happens! I’ve come to discover, through the guidance of Laurie, our gym’s personal trainer and resident fitness expert, that muscle is built through the process of tearing it down – destroying it, in a sense – and then allowing it to “repair” through the process of scarring over, which is how muscle is actually built. But most people simply work to the level where they’re just tired… to the edge of failure… but not to failure and exhaustion where muscle is actually destroyed and then repaired and grown.
So, combining my expertise in failing your way to success in sales with my video taping deadline, I intend to fail my way to muscle-building and weight-loss success by going on a personal 40 Day “Fail My Way to Fitness” Challenge. And, using the concepts we teach people in our breakthrough performance workshops, here are the rules I’ve set for myself:
For the next 40 days (January 22-March 2) I will…
1) Exercise to “failure”… to the point where I cannot run any more or do another weight-lifting rep (as opposed to simply treadmilling for 20 minutes or doing three sets of 12 reps in weight lifting)
2) Not weigh myself during the entire 40 day period, but will put my entire focus on simply engaging in the BEHAVIOR of exercising to FAILURE
3) Not count my calories! Yes, I will work hard at eating a reasonable diet, but calorie-counting is OUT!
But to make the process interesting for those who are following my progress, I will engage in what we’ll call BLIND WEIGH-INS where I’ll get on the scale blind-folded, with Andrea noting the weight and entering it into this blog (I promise not to look!)
This is not to say that I’ve given up on my life-long personal quest to get in shape. To the contrary – my thoughts (now that I’m in my 50’s) about the ability of my vessel (my body) to take on the rest of life’s journey have been increasingly health-oriented. But, for right now, my immediate quest is simply to get in my favorite black Hart Schaffner & Marx suit!
Like a bear who has stored up for winter hibernation, I’ve packed on a few pounds during the holidays. But looking at my speaking calendar I discover an important (and rapidly appraoching!) engagement on March 4th that will be video taped for an upcoming DVD product. And while I am aware of the need to reduce calorie intake, I also must acknowledge that my eating habits will probably not change (at least not significantly). So I’m turning to the gym and making exercise the key to my weight-loss quest.
The problem with this plan is that at the gym I see the same people there every time I go… sometimes for years… and they never seem to make any progress! They “workout” 3-5 times a week, and yet they never seem to change (maybe you’re one of them, I know I am!) The question is: Why? Why is it that we workout and yet the work doesn’t seem to pay off? The answer, I’ve come to understand, is that we’re not working to failure – we’re working to the edge of failure… sometime just short of it… but not to it.
And that’s where the magic happens! I’ve come to discover, through the guidance of Laurie, our gym’s personal trainer and resident fitness expert, that muscle is built through the process of tearing it down – destroying it, in a sense – and then allowing it to “repair” through the process of scarring over, which is how muscle is actually built. But most people simply work to the level where they’re just tired… to the edge of failure… but not to failure and exhaustion where muscle is actually destroyed and then repaired and grown.
So, combining my expertise in failing your way to success in sales with my video taping deadline, I intend to fail my way to muscle-building and weight-loss success by going on a personal 40 Day “Fail My Way to Fitness” Challenge. And, using the concepts we teach people in our breakthrough performance workshops, here are the rules I’ve set for myself:
For the next 40 days (January 22-March 2) I will…
1) Exercise to “failure”… to the point where I cannot run any more or do another weight-lifting rep (as opposed to simply treadmilling for 20 minutes or doing three sets of 12 reps in weight lifting)
2) Not weigh myself during the entire 40 day period, but will put my entire focus on simply engaging in the BEHAVIOR of exercising to FAILURE
3) Not count my calories! Yes, I will work hard at eating a reasonable diet, but calorie-counting is OUT!
But to make the process interesting for those who are following my progress, I will engage in what we’ll call BLIND WEIGH-INS where I’ll get on the scale blind-folded, with Andrea noting the weight and entering it into this blog (I promise not to look!)
To get into my suit I must get under 210 pounds. My starting weight (as you can see from my “weigh-in” scale photo) is 235½ pounds, so there’s a lot of failing to be done. (Also, a photo of me with the aforementioned suit appears below). Stay tuned!
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Go Paula
Last night on American Idol (yes, of course we watched again) there was a wonderful interchange between a contestant and the judges.
Thomas, the contestant, had just shared two pieces of his story; one, he had slept behind a row of dumpsters the night before because he had nowhere to stay, and two, this was his third time auditioning for the show (he never got past the “screeners” on his prior attempts).
Randy then says, “So you know what this means, right?” Thomas said, “Yeah! Third time’s a charm!” Randy said, “Or it’s your third NO and you’re out!” Then, a great thing happened. Paula turned to Randy and said, “Randy, if we quit after our third NO, we wouldn’t be sitting here.” Oh, yeah… this time Thomas is going to Hollywood (dog!)
Thomas, the contestant, had just shared two pieces of his story; one, he had slept behind a row of dumpsters the night before because he had nowhere to stay, and two, this was his third time auditioning for the show (he never got past the “screeners” on his prior attempts).
Randy then says, “So you know what this means, right?” Thomas said, “Yeah! Third time’s a charm!” Randy said, “Or it’s your third NO and you’re out!” Then, a great thing happened. Paula turned to Randy and said, “Randy, if we quit after our third NO, we wouldn’t be sitting here.” Oh, yeah… this time Thomas is going to Hollywood (dog!)
Wednesday, January 17, 2007
Going for No on American Idol
Our "go for no" philosophy was none more evident than on American Idol last night. Okay yes we admit it, we do watch the show. The fifth? sixth? whatever season began yesterday and the truth is we don't watch a lot of TV but we will watch Idol.
It reminded us that auditions are the breeding grounds of "No." A lot of No's were handed out last night on American Idol. Rejections are commonplace in the world of show business. Your favorite working actors are getting rejected still, all the time. It's par for the course.
In fact, in the February issue of BestLife, actor Jeremy Piven is interviewed and says, "The average person would never be able to take this much rejection... you have to understand the journey can be so brutal at times and there's so much rejection that weeds out people." And we say the more rejection, the more you are willing to hear "no" and move on, the greater your changes for ultimate success.
The reality is that a lot of the people told "no" on American Idol deserved to hear it. Yet, even on last season, Simon Cowell told the winner of the entire competition (Taylor Hicks) that there was no way he would make it to the final round. So, the question is who should quit? The bottom line is that for each and every one of us there is a unique formula and it relies on (in varying amounts) things like: talent, some timing and luck, and always the willingness to keep going forward, to fail our way to success.
It reminded us that auditions are the breeding grounds of "No." A lot of No's were handed out last night on American Idol. Rejections are commonplace in the world of show business. Your favorite working actors are getting rejected still, all the time. It's par for the course.
In fact, in the February issue of BestLife, actor Jeremy Piven is interviewed and says, "The average person would never be able to take this much rejection... you have to understand the journey can be so brutal at times and there's so much rejection that weeds out people." And we say the more rejection, the more you are willing to hear "no" and move on, the greater your changes for ultimate success.
The reality is that a lot of the people told "no" on American Idol deserved to hear it. Yet, even on last season, Simon Cowell told the winner of the entire competition (Taylor Hicks) that there was no way he would make it to the final round. So, the question is who should quit? The bottom line is that for each and every one of us there is a unique formula and it relies on (in varying amounts) things like: talent, some timing and luck, and always the willingness to keep going forward, to fail our way to success.
Tuesday, January 2, 2007
Behavior Is How You Get There
To reward ourselves for a successful year, Andrea and I attend the New Year’s Eve bash at the Lucia, a small boutique hotel in downtown Portland. While relaxing in the room prior to dinner, I watch Bobby Knight – the storied and often controversial coach of the Texas Tech Red Raiders college basketball team – record his Division I record 800th win.
The fact that Bobby Knight got to 880 wins to surpass Dean Smith of North Carolina is not the point of this story – after all, Knight has coached for 41 years, and Smith got his 879 wins in only 36 years. What makes this event worthy of attention is the interview conducted immediately after the win. With cheering fans in the background, Knight stands with a female reporter at center court, and the interviewer asks the question you’d expect in a situation like this: “So, you just set the record for most wins. How do you feel, coach?” What’s unexpected is Knight’s response. Without hesitation, Bobby Knight replies: “I don’t like how we played in the second half.”
Pay close attention here, because in this answer is on of the great secrets of success, which is: To get results, you must focus on behaviors. The result of the game? A record 880th win. The concern? Behavior. Not the score (the result) but how they played (the behavior.) Because Knight knows that the wins only manifest themselves BECAUSE of the behavior. And Knight knows something else, even though this goes unsaid: Talking about the result of the game that has just concluded is to take his eye off the ball. Because the very act of focusing on how they played… his team’s behavior… is to focus on something that will affect the next game, and that’s where Bobby Knight’s thoughts have already turned. He’s analyzing what his players did… how they behaved… because in Knight’s mind he knows the score is ALWAYS a reflection of his players behaviors.
Yes, winning is important. But in the world of Bobby Knight and all other record-breaking performers, behavior is how you get there.
The fact that Bobby Knight got to 880 wins to surpass Dean Smith of North Carolina is not the point of this story – after all, Knight has coached for 41 years, and Smith got his 879 wins in only 36 years. What makes this event worthy of attention is the interview conducted immediately after the win. With cheering fans in the background, Knight stands with a female reporter at center court, and the interviewer asks the question you’d expect in a situation like this: “So, you just set the record for most wins. How do you feel, coach?” What’s unexpected is Knight’s response. Without hesitation, Bobby Knight replies: “I don’t like how we played in the second half.”
Pay close attention here, because in this answer is on of the great secrets of success, which is: To get results, you must focus on behaviors. The result of the game? A record 880th win. The concern? Behavior. Not the score (the result) but how they played (the behavior.) Because Knight knows that the wins only manifest themselves BECAUSE of the behavior. And Knight knows something else, even though this goes unsaid: Talking about the result of the game that has just concluded is to take his eye off the ball. Because the very act of focusing on how they played… his team’s behavior… is to focus on something that will affect the next game, and that’s where Bobby Knight’s thoughts have already turned. He’s analyzing what his players did… how they behaved… because in Knight’s mind he knows the score is ALWAYS a reflection of his players behaviors.
Yes, winning is important. But in the world of Bobby Knight and all other record-breaking performers, behavior is how you get there.
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