- I have a bachelor of science in Criminal Justice and wanted to be a CSI before the public really had any idea what that was.
- The average room temperature I prefer is about 80 degrees. Then I am really comfortable.
- I don't have kids, I find women who do - amazing. Don't know how they do it.
- I called George Lucas' office when I was 8 years old because I wanted to produce movies with him. I had a Corona typewriter and typed up all the movies I wanted to make; including one called X-Caribbean-Tiger-Python about - you guessed it, what happens when a Tiger and Python combine in the jungle. (It's not good.)
- The absolute last thing I ever wanted to do in my life was speak in front of people, and now, I love speaking.
- I have incredible will power for almost everything except popcorn. I would eat a stranger's popcorn in the movie theater if they offered it to me. (and I was out, which I would be.)
- I wash my hair every other day. Every day is too much.
- I can be really judgmental and I am working on it.
- I don't like heights. I now live on the 22nd floor of a highrise building.
- I have, over time, become a total wine snob.
- I am becoming, more and more, a vegetarian. Wine luckily, is not meat-based.
- I believe I have ADHD, I literally do five things at once, and I mean, literally. I have done four things as I've been composing this blog.
- I believe everyone should experience therapy - at least for a bit.
- I am pretty sure my parents have no idea what I do, really. They will never read this.
- I have never gotten a speeding ticket. The only ticket I ever got was not stopping at a stop sign and that was a travesty of justice; the cop did not see me stop. I argued and lost.
- In High School, I skipped class and forged my Mom's signature on notes. I did get caught. It was not good. It was probably also why I had to retake Geometry.
- I love cats - I have one now, named Courage.
- I am believe in supporting our troops. I think the idea that our Government doesn't put their safety and recovery when they come back, as the first priority, tragic.
- I tolerate pedicures. I really don't like anyone touching my feet.
- I love talking to people, I find everyone has an interesting story if just ask them questions. It might be why I also enjoy twitter so much.
- I lived in Orange County California for the first 25 years of my life, then LA for a couple years, then the Pacific Northwest, and now Florida. I like to experience new places.
- I've been married twice, I got married at 20 and then at 27. My second husband Richard and I spend everyday together and it's perfect.
- I have a fondness for naps - the deep, delirious kind.
- I was the Training Director for a retail pet supply company based in LA, and I loved it. I know quite a bit about the life cycle of a flea, why corn is bad for cats, and that dogs love Greenies.
- I am doing what I love and I feel really lucky and very grateful everyday.
Tuesday, November 1, 2011
25 Random Things About Me
Sunday, October 23, 2011
Give the Gift of NO
"This is the book that we all wished we would have had 25 years ago (well, at least if you're near my age :). A most amazing book! Master this book and you'll master 'winning in life'. Success, wealth and achievement will virtually track you down and force themselves into your life. This book is not a book that is 'recommended'; this book is required reading for anyone wanting to pursue and live their dreams. Get it into your hands as fast as you can. You'll wonder how you've survived this long without it." - Michael Murphy, Author, Powerful Attitudes
Tuesday, October 11, 2011
The worst feeling in sales...
If you were to ask me what feeling I would most like to destroy, I know exactly what it is. I was thinking about some of the feelings I have had over the years when it comes to "selling."
The feeling that I would most like to destroy is... Doubt. You might respond, but what about fear? I actually think fear is pretty helpful in a lot of ways. It's such a strong emotion, in some ways - easier to manage. But Doubt is slippery. It sneaks in before you realize it - leans against the wall of your mind, in a black leather jacket, like a gangster from the 1950's, cigarette dangling, asking you, "Who do you think you are?" Doubt knows that it doesn't have to work that hard. It only needs to suggest things, in a subtle way, and then saunter off leaving you feeling uncertain; your confidence bullied out of the way.
And so when I think about 'Go for No' and the great results that it can bring people, I am most excited and hopeful that it can remove this most destructive of feelings. So when Doubt comes around you could say, "Oh I know - it's crazy that I think I can do this. It's okay I'm just going for No anyway. You can go now." And Doubt slinks away, head shaking, wondering how it lost it's grip on you.
The feeling that I would most like to destroy is... Doubt. You might respond, but what about fear? I actually think fear is pretty helpful in a lot of ways. It's such a strong emotion, in some ways - easier to manage. But Doubt is slippery. It sneaks in before you realize it - leans against the wall of your mind, in a black leather jacket, like a gangster from the 1950's, cigarette dangling, asking you, "Who do you think you are?" Doubt knows that it doesn't have to work that hard. It only needs to suggest things, in a subtle way, and then saunter off leaving you feeling uncertain; your confidence bullied out of the way.
And so when I think about 'Go for No' and the great results that it can bring people, I am most excited and hopeful that it can remove this most destructive of feelings. So when Doubt comes around you could say, "Oh I know - it's crazy that I think I can do this. It's okay I'm just going for No anyway. You can go now." And Doubt slinks away, head shaking, wondering how it lost it's grip on you.
Monday, October 3, 2011
A really important question...
When it comes to selling we have all been coached and trained to ask questions. Don't just talk and present - ask questions. Shut up and listen! Personally, my sales were not unleashed until I started focusing on the one really important question. It's the question that, when answered, takes me quickly and easily onto one of two paths.
The question is different for everyone. But whether you are offering cleaning services, upgrades on a website, selling life insurance or life coaching... there's the important question and it has to do with WANT. Some call it a disqualifying question.
Now I have to back up because I recently listened to a sales trainer's seminar about cold calling prospects. It started off with bringing up the weather to build rapport followed by a question that was complex enough that it reminded me of one of those essay questions about character arc that I would get on my literature test in high school.
Anywho, my point is - all that questioning is useless if you have not first figured out the want. So stop wasting your time and their time and begin asking the really important question: Do you want this?
The question is different for everyone. But whether you are offering cleaning services, upgrades on a website, selling life insurance or life coaching... there's the important question and it has to do with WANT. Some call it a disqualifying question.
Now I have to back up because I recently listened to a sales trainer's seminar about cold calling prospects. It started off with bringing up the weather to build rapport followed by a question that was complex enough that it reminded me of one of those essay questions about character arc that I would get on my literature test in high school.
Anywho, my point is - all that questioning is useless if you have not first figured out the want. So stop wasting your time and their time and begin asking the really important question: Do you want this?
Monday, September 5, 2011
Passion and Emotions when Selling
In his book, "How I Raised Myself From Failure To Success In Selling", Frank Bettger wrote: "I firmly believe enthusiasm is by far the biggest single factor in successful selling". Enthusiasm is one thing and you better have it!
But what about when your emotions get completely tied up in the sale… or non-sale? Granted, sales means money. And money is an emotional thing – it makes or breaks survival and defines lifestyle. So we can’t help but allow our feelings get in the way when it comes to sales. And yet, to be effective in virtually any endeavor, including sales, it is good to have less passion regarding the outcome of the situation. Not zero passion… but probably less passion than you’re experiencing currently.
Consider how a doctor must remain unemotional and somewhat dispassionate. It’s not that doctors are completely uncaring. Certainly if they are doing surgery - they care about the outcome, they care about the patient, but make no mistake: a certain amount of DETACHMENT is required to be effective. In fact, it is common practice not have doctors operate on relatives and loved ones. Why? Because they are too close, too emotional, to remain detached enough to do the job efficiently.
And the same is true for us as sellers, too. Our attachment to the outcome, tend to make us less effective. For example when it comes to selling, the ultimate place you can get to is where the words YES and NO contain the same emotional charge. And this means being more dispassionate when it comes to selling your product, service, opportunity, and even yourself.
There is no denying that there is some part of us that will always be happier when we hear ‘yes.’. After all, we’re human! We will never be able to be totally dispassionate about some outcomes. But the goal is clearly to reach a point where the difference between the elation of hearing ‘YES’ and the deflation of hearing NO is minimized… even if it can’t be eliminated entirely.
Anyone can be happy and positive when things are going their way. That’s easy! The question is: What is your attitude… how do you respond… when the going gets tough? When things do not go the way you’d like?
In poker, for example, players call a few bad hands “going on tilt.” Players are in control when they’re playing well and luck is with them. The question is, how well can they play and control their emotions when things aren’t going their way. Can they avoid going on tilt? The question is, when things don’t go your way… especially for extended periods of time… can you keep yourself from GOING ON TILT?
A few years ago the St. Louis Cardinals defeated the Detroit Tigers in the World Series. What makes this noteworthy is the performance of Cardinal shortstop David Eckstein. In his first 11 plate appearances, Eckstein went 0-11. He didn’t get his first hit until late in the third game. But, then he got 8 hits in his next 11 at bats - ending up 8 for 22 with a .364 batting average and being named series MVP. Even when things looked bad… were bad… Eckstein managed to keep his emotional in check and not go on tilt.
If you allow your successes … your yeses… to define your self-esteem… or to allow each result, each piece of good or bad news, to influence your thoughts and actions… life will become an emotional roller coaster ride with serious ups and downs that over time will drive you into a downward spiral of thoughts and actions. And it’s a very difficult cycle to get out of.
To be effective you must learn to separate yourself from what other people think and say and decide regarding your product or service… but to do so without becoming cold and nonchalant toward them. This is of course easier said than done.
Ironically, one of the side benefits of selling with less emotion is that others are actually drawn to us by our perceived lack of concern about the outcome. Too much emotion comes across as desperation. And customers don’t see desperation as a good sign. It does not instill a level of confidence in you or in the product. Ironically that causes the customer to back away and you lose the sale.
So get excited about your mission, about your product, and about LIFE. Let that come through. But when it comes to the excitement regarding the customer’s decision… that is when you need to relax and let the “chips fall” where they may.
But what about when your emotions get completely tied up in the sale… or non-sale? Granted, sales means money. And money is an emotional thing – it makes or breaks survival and defines lifestyle. So we can’t help but allow our feelings get in the way when it comes to sales. And yet, to be effective in virtually any endeavor, including sales, it is good to have less passion regarding the outcome of the situation. Not zero passion… but probably less passion than you’re experiencing currently.
Consider how a doctor must remain unemotional and somewhat dispassionate. It’s not that doctors are completely uncaring. Certainly if they are doing surgery - they care about the outcome, they care about the patient, but make no mistake: a certain amount of DETACHMENT is required to be effective. In fact, it is common practice not have doctors operate on relatives and loved ones. Why? Because they are too close, too emotional, to remain detached enough to do the job efficiently.
And the same is true for us as sellers, too. Our attachment to the outcome, tend to make us less effective. For example when it comes to selling, the ultimate place you can get to is where the words YES and NO contain the same emotional charge. And this means being more dispassionate when it comes to selling your product, service, opportunity, and even yourself.
There is no denying that there is some part of us that will always be happier when we hear ‘yes.’. After all, we’re human! We will never be able to be totally dispassionate about some outcomes. But the goal is clearly to reach a point where the difference between the elation of hearing ‘YES’ and the deflation of hearing NO is minimized… even if it can’t be eliminated entirely.
Anyone can be happy and positive when things are going their way. That’s easy! The question is: What is your attitude… how do you respond… when the going gets tough? When things do not go the way you’d like?
In poker, for example, players call a few bad hands “going on tilt.” Players are in control when they’re playing well and luck is with them. The question is, how well can they play and control their emotions when things aren’t going their way. Can they avoid going on tilt? The question is, when things don’t go your way… especially for extended periods of time… can you keep yourself from GOING ON TILT?
A few years ago the St. Louis Cardinals defeated the Detroit Tigers in the World Series. What makes this noteworthy is the performance of Cardinal shortstop David Eckstein. In his first 11 plate appearances, Eckstein went 0-11. He didn’t get his first hit until late in the third game. But, then he got 8 hits in his next 11 at bats - ending up 8 for 22 with a .364 batting average and being named series MVP. Even when things looked bad… were bad… Eckstein managed to keep his emotional in check and not go on tilt.
If you allow your successes … your yeses… to define your self-esteem… or to allow each result, each piece of good or bad news, to influence your thoughts and actions… life will become an emotional roller coaster ride with serious ups and downs that over time will drive you into a downward spiral of thoughts and actions. And it’s a very difficult cycle to get out of.
To be effective you must learn to separate yourself from what other people think and say and decide regarding your product or service… but to do so without becoming cold and nonchalant toward them. This is of course easier said than done.
Ironically, one of the side benefits of selling with less emotion is that others are actually drawn to us by our perceived lack of concern about the outcome. Too much emotion comes across as desperation. And customers don’t see desperation as a good sign. It does not instill a level of confidence in you or in the product. Ironically that causes the customer to back away and you lose the sale.
So get excited about your mission, about your product, and about LIFE. Let that come through. But when it comes to the excitement regarding the customer’s decision… that is when you need to relax and let the “chips fall” where they may.
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Nurturing NO
Do you nurture your NO's? When we made our DVD Movie, 'Yes is the Destination, No is How You Get There' we interviewed 58 people on how they have failed, been rejected, and used the 'go for no' philosophy in their business and lives to reach a high level of success.
One of our sales experts, Mark Heerema, told us, "I realized that in order for me to really succeed, and this is my first lesson - that I had to get my NOs in order to get yeses. I was never taught that, no one ever told me that. So what I learned was, "No" is inevitable - I was going to get no - the question was, what was I going to do with it?"
In the movie, almost all of our fabulous experts agreed that most people get a no and that is it, it's over. The end of the road! Of course what the people in the movie think when they hear 'no' is exactly the opposite - they figure a way to go around it and they understand that 'no doesn't mean never, it means not yet.' It has clearly been a huge factor in their success.
When you get a 'no' don't throw it away. There are only two times you do take a NO and let it go.
1) It was a Good No. The person as it turns out is completely unqualified for what you are offering. (Example: my husband Richard is a really bad candidate for hair care products.)
2) They have told you 'no' and expressed to you that it really is a 'never' and to push beyond would be rude and disrespectful.
Otherwise, nurture your no's as they often will grow up to become YESES!
One of our sales experts, Mark Heerema, told us, "I realized that in order for me to really succeed, and this is my first lesson - that I had to get my NOs in order to get yeses. I was never taught that, no one ever told me that. So what I learned was, "No" is inevitable - I was going to get no - the question was, what was I going to do with it?"
In the movie, almost all of our fabulous experts agreed that most people get a no and that is it, it's over. The end of the road! Of course what the people in the movie think when they hear 'no' is exactly the opposite - they figure a way to go around it and they understand that 'no doesn't mean never, it means not yet.' It has clearly been a huge factor in their success.
When you get a 'no' don't throw it away. There are only two times you do take a NO and let it go.
1) It was a Good No. The person as it turns out is completely unqualified for what you are offering. (Example: my husband Richard is a really bad candidate for hair care products.)
2) They have told you 'no' and expressed to you that it really is a 'never' and to push beyond would be rude and disrespectful.
Otherwise, nurture your no's as they often will grow up to become YESES!
Friday, August 5, 2011
Fear of the No
We got a great question last week on twitter. It had to do with feeling afraid to 'go for no.' What do you do when you have that fear? It's important to start asking some questions of yourself to drill down to the root of the fear. What are you really afraid of?
Are you afraid of the 'no' because you (desperately) need the yes? This is understandable but guess what... the person is going to do what they are going to do most of the time regardless of you. While you might make the absolute best 'presentation' and give your best effort - ultimately their decision is theirs. So try to relax and detach from the outcome. It makes for less stress and less fear!
Are you afraid of the person getting upset at you? Also understandable. No one wants to make an enemy. Or come across annoying or pushy. But the next question is: are you on a mission? Do you have something that you believe in so strongly that you need to communicate it and therefore potentially and temporarily irritate someone? Do you believe this person needs to hear your story? Stop worrying about the result and focus on your mission. If the person gets upset, thank them for hearing you out and let it go.
Are you afraid of a yes? I know, weird, right? Perhaps underlying the fear is some anxiety around being successful. You might have a fear of being exposed - incapable of delivering on what you are providing for that 'yes.' Susan Jeffers says most all fear is related to the idea that we "can't handle" what comes our way. You need to trust in yourself and grow your confidence. (This is the one that may take some work!) Affirm to yourself that you can handle it. Think about all the great things you have accomplished so far. Realize that you are going to continue on this magnificent journey that you are creating despite these fears. In other words, you are NOT going to say 'no' to yourself.
Are you afraid of the 'no' because you (desperately) need the yes? This is understandable but guess what... the person is going to do what they are going to do most of the time regardless of you. While you might make the absolute best 'presentation' and give your best effort - ultimately their decision is theirs. So try to relax and detach from the outcome. It makes for less stress and less fear!
Are you afraid of the person getting upset at you? Also understandable. No one wants to make an enemy. Or come across annoying or pushy. But the next question is: are you on a mission? Do you have something that you believe in so strongly that you need to communicate it and therefore potentially and temporarily irritate someone? Do you believe this person needs to hear your story? Stop worrying about the result and focus on your mission. If the person gets upset, thank them for hearing you out and let it go.
Are you afraid of a yes? I know, weird, right? Perhaps underlying the fear is some anxiety around being successful. You might have a fear of being exposed - incapable of delivering on what you are providing for that 'yes.' Susan Jeffers says most all fear is related to the idea that we "can't handle" what comes our way. You need to trust in yourself and grow your confidence. (This is the one that may take some work!) Affirm to yourself that you can handle it. Think about all the great things you have accomplished so far. Realize that you are going to continue on this magnificent journey that you are creating despite these fears. In other words, you are NOT going to say 'no' to yourself.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Picking up a CHANCE card
Remember playing the board game, Monopoly? Did you have a favorite playing piece? The dog? The shoe? Top hat? I thought the little silver car was pretty cool. I feared going to jail. And my favorite thing of all was landing on the "CHANCE" square and getting to pick up a CHANCE card.
It was so exciting. Nothing but opportunity - a chance, literally, for something amazing to happen. Or even something not so great. I didn't care - I loved the suspense, excitement and the risk. I guess that's why I love being an entrepreneur. Each day I wake up, I feel like I'm picking up a CHANCE card. Each day is an opportunity for something amazing to happen - or something not so great. But it's a chance! And that's I all I want.
I don't expect everyone to be like me. But I will say that life is a lot more fun and interesting when you let yourself play. Give yourself the opportunity to have that CHANCE!
"All life is a chance. The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare." - Dale Carnegie
It was so exciting. Nothing but opportunity - a chance, literally, for something amazing to happen. Or even something not so great. I didn't care - I loved the suspense, excitement and the risk. I guess that's why I love being an entrepreneur. Each day I wake up, I feel like I'm picking up a CHANCE card. Each day is an opportunity for something amazing to happen - or something not so great. But it's a chance! And that's I all I want.
I don't expect everyone to be like me. But I will say that life is a lot more fun and interesting when you let yourself play. Give yourself the opportunity to have that CHANCE!
"All life is a chance. The man who goes the furthest is generally the one who is willing to do and dare." - Dale Carnegie
Friday, July 29, 2011
Monday, July 25, 2011
The Aladdin Factor Full Circle
In the mid 90's I came across a book with a title that I could not pass up - it was called The Aladdin Factor by Jack Canfield and Mark Victor Hansen. I flipped the book over and saw this: "Anything is possible... if you dare to ask!" The only books I had ever bought were for "fun" but I HAD to know about this and bought it on the spot. I fell in love with this book as I had never considered something so simple and yet so profound - and actually with so much depth.
Months later, Richard Fenton (now my husband and business partner) would share with me the "go for no" philosophy. Although at that time it was just a message that he would share - there was no book, training or business there at all. The entire idea of "going for no" and "daring to ask" were things that I let drift early on. When I am honest about it, I really just cared WAY TOO MUCH about what people thought of me, that they would like me, and so the idea of asking for anything had been entirely drummed out of me because I let it.
So after embracing 'go for no' with a passion and helping Richard write the book, we eventually decided that we were on a mission to change the perception around no, failure, and rejection. The business was born. As with most things it has taken far longer than we thought it would but we have not given up even when things have been slow or tough.
In 2009, we decided to make a movie; a documentary style DVD we called "Yes is the Destination, No is How You Get There". We drove 12,000 miles all over country interviewing top achievers about how they used hearing 'no' and failures and rejections to eventually reach their level of great success.
One of the people we interviewed was Jack Canfield, co-author of the book that changed my life and got me to start asking again. Jack's interview was, of course, amazing. He is clearly one of the great inspirational thought leaders of our time. When we were about to leave, Jack grabbed a First Edition of "The Aladdin Factor" from his bookcase, one of three remaining, and signed the copy to us.
Months later, Richard Fenton (now my husband and business partner) would share with me the "go for no" philosophy. Although at that time it was just a message that he would share - there was no book, training or business there at all. The entire idea of "going for no" and "daring to ask" were things that I let drift early on. When I am honest about it, I really just cared WAY TOO MUCH about what people thought of me, that they would like me, and so the idea of asking for anything had been entirely drummed out of me because I let it.
So after embracing 'go for no' with a passion and helping Richard write the book, we eventually decided that we were on a mission to change the perception around no, failure, and rejection. The business was born. As with most things it has taken far longer than we thought it would but we have not given up even when things have been slow or tough.
In 2009, we decided to make a movie; a documentary style DVD we called "Yes is the Destination, No is How You Get There". We drove 12,000 miles all over country interviewing top achievers about how they used hearing 'no' and failures and rejections to eventually reach their level of great success.
One of the people we interviewed was Jack Canfield, co-author of the book that changed my life and got me to start asking again. Jack's interview was, of course, amazing. He is clearly one of the great inspirational thought leaders of our time. When we were about to leave, Jack grabbed a First Edition of "The Aladdin Factor" from his bookcase, one of three remaining, and signed the copy to us.
Saturday, July 16, 2011
My little lesson in fear
"You have powers you never dreamed of. You can do things you never thought you could do. There are no limitations in what you can do except the limitations of your own mind." - Darwin P. Kingsley
One of the most disastrous moments of my life was in junior high school. Okay, actually all of junior high was disastrous but this was particularly bad. It was "Oral Report" time and I had to chosen to speak about the dangers of smoking. I had my notes carefully written out - in pencil - on 3 by 5 note cards. Oral reports usually took days to get through. But it finally happened... "Andrea - you are up!"
My stomach lurched. I stumbled to the front of the room. My note cards were barely readable (why did I use pencil??) and seemed out of order... or were they? My voice shook as I began - steadied myself against the podium. My normal functioning shut down. It was about survival. At some point I must have finished and I do recall making my way back to my chair to the snickers of classmates. It was really, really bad. Really bad. It was also the day I decided that I would make it my life's mission to do as little public speaking as humanly possible for as long as I lived. In the years following, I would do everything within my power to avoid speaking to a group. If you had told me then that I would make a living speaking - as in "professionally" as in - "paid" I never would have believed it.
But time moves on and circumstances, and people, change.
I have become a speaker in part because of the passion I have for the Go for No message and the sheer thrill and joy I get from doing it now. I am certainly not the greatest speaker you'll ever hear. (I am a lot better than I was in junior high.) I have learned that what you think you can or cannot do, what fears you think you will hold onto forever, can be changed. With a little passion, courage, and willingness to be bad for a while - life can offer amazing things when we allow it to.
One of the most disastrous moments of my life was in junior high school. Okay, actually all of junior high was disastrous but this was particularly bad. It was "Oral Report" time and I had to chosen to speak about the dangers of smoking. I had my notes carefully written out - in pencil - on 3 by 5 note cards. Oral reports usually took days to get through. But it finally happened... "Andrea - you are up!"
My stomach lurched. I stumbled to the front of the room. My note cards were barely readable (why did I use pencil??) and seemed out of order... or were they? My voice shook as I began - steadied myself against the podium. My normal functioning shut down. It was about survival. At some point I must have finished and I do recall making my way back to my chair to the snickers of classmates. It was really, really bad. Really bad. It was also the day I decided that I would make it my life's mission to do as little public speaking as humanly possible for as long as I lived. In the years following, I would do everything within my power to avoid speaking to a group. If you had told me then that I would make a living speaking - as in "professionally" as in - "paid" I never would have believed it.
But time moves on and circumstances, and people, change.
I have become a speaker in part because of the passion I have for the Go for No message and the sheer thrill and joy I get from doing it now. I am certainly not the greatest speaker you'll ever hear. (I am a lot better than I was in junior high.) I have learned that what you think you can or cannot do, what fears you think you will hold onto forever, can be changed. With a little passion, courage, and willingness to be bad for a while - life can offer amazing things when we allow it to.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Do You Stick?... Are You Glue or a Post It?
I rarely wait for anything now: Who was in that movie? I have the answer in twelve seconds via IMDB. Husband needs new pair of silk pants. I'll have them fedex-ed and here tomorrow. Restaurant reservation after they're closed? Doesn't matter, I'll handle it on opentable.
"Patience is a virtue" used to be a popular saying. We've lost the ability to be patient. We are ready to do business NOW! When it comes to selling and sharing opportunities, most customers, clients, and prospects are not actually ready NOW.
So it is up to us to stick around - building our business, growing relationships - so that when people are finally ready - we will be there. The problem is that so many people just give up or are looking for that one quick hit that they don't stick around. Customers, prospects - they KNOW IT! Which is why, they will almost always test you (and say no or put you off). Has this happened to you? And are you still around... or have you run off looking for the next easy yes? Are you glue or a post-it?
"Patience is a virtue" used to be a popular saying. We've lost the ability to be patient. We are ready to do business NOW! When it comes to selling and sharing opportunities, most customers, clients, and prospects are not actually ready NOW.
So it is up to us to stick around - building our business, growing relationships - so that when people are finally ready - we will be there. The problem is that so many people just give up or are looking for that one quick hit that they don't stick around. Customers, prospects - they KNOW IT! Which is why, they will almost always test you (and say no or put you off). Has this happened to you? And are you still around... or have you run off looking for the next easy yes? Are you glue or a post-it?
Saturday, June 25, 2011
Failure Experts tout Mika Brzezinski’s new book, "Knowing Your Value” ...
Okay while we are NOT in love with her political leanings... we have to give kudos to MSNBC, "Morning Joe" co-host Mika Brzezinski's new book, "Knowing Your Value" where besides telling her own story of hard fought battles to get paid what she felt she was worth (admitting a lot of failure and missteps along the way) she actually goes out of her way to encourage women to get over their fears of rejection and being told 'no.' A skill that Mika points out, most women lack especially compared to most men. She recounts a story told to her of one woman having lunch with her boss, asking for a raise and then bursting into tears after he said "no." Women most definitely need to learn to use "no" to their advantage (Go for No!) - asking more and learning to take more no's! This book is another step in the right direction. Read our recent press release here: http://www.prweb.com/releases/2011/6/prweb8597579.htm
Friday, June 17, 2011
Surviving Risks and Building Confidence
In our Go for No! DVD, Jack Canfield told us, "Self confidence the way I frame it is the result of a successfully survived risk. If you want to be confident in confronting a potential "No," ask for a lot of stuff so that you get rejected enough to know you can handle it, and that you didn't die." Susan Jeffers, author of, Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway, explains that "At the bottom of every one of your fears is simply the fear that you can't handle whatever life may bring you."
What happens when you "Go for No" that is - when you try asking for something: resources, a sale, a favor - whatever - is that regardless of the outcome, your confidence has a chance to grow. You get the opportunity to see that you did survive, you did handle it, and really, it's not so bad. Building your confidence, ironically is not about hoping for the easy yes, it's about dealing with and getting through those tough no's.
What happens when you "Go for No" that is - when you try asking for something: resources, a sale, a favor - whatever - is that regardless of the outcome, your confidence has a chance to grow. You get the opportunity to see that you did survive, you did handle it, and really, it's not so bad. Building your confidence, ironically is not about hoping for the easy yes, it's about dealing with and getting through those tough no's.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Learning to Fail - Wile E Coyote, Super Genius
As a kid, my favorite thing to do on Saturday morning was to wake up - 6-ish, get a huge bowl of cereal, then sit in front of the TV and watch cartoons until about noon. I loved Looney Tunes; Bugs Bunny, Daffy Duck, Elmer Fudd, and I most of all... Wile E. Coyote, Super Genius - a creation of the late, great Chuck Jones. The coyote was always trying to capture that elusive road runner. I loved that he was not just a genius, he was a SUPER genius and wildly clever, at least he tried to be. He would order boxes from ACME and put together elaborate systems to capture the road runner - which never worked. Ever. Most of the time they back fired so badly that he would get hurdled off a cliff or catapulted into a wall.The coyote failed over and over and over but he never gave up. He never allowed his failures to dampen his determination. I loved that about him - even at age 7. But - you may be thinking - the coyote never got the road runner! That's the interesting thing about success and failure.You know what they say - success always occurs in private, and failure in full view. So I like to think somewhere out there... the coyote won.
Friday, June 3, 2011
Failure gets a good rap from Seth Godin
Seth Godin on How He Started As an Entrepreneur
It's always refreshing to see an iconic business personality like Seth Godin espouse the virtue of failure. Check out the short video and remember this lesson: "If I fail more than you do, I win."
It's always refreshing to see an iconic business personality like Seth Godin espouse the virtue of failure. Check out the short video and remember this lesson: "If I fail more than you do, I win."
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Dealing with the NO Elephant
There is an elephant in the room and he has two letters painted on the side of his big, grey body. The letters are: N-O. NO! How many meetings do you think go on every day around the world discussing everything but the elephant that is in the room. "What can we do to improve sales? Why aren't we hitting our numbers? How are we going to increase sales - or even keep our numbers from dropping?"
Have these questions changed much in the last few decades? Probably not. So, why do the same questions keep getting asked? Maybe it's because people keep expecting a different answer. But one of the biggest answers has to do with the elephant in the room - you know... the one that no one talks about.
And the people who are sitting in the meetings or dialing into the teleconference, are all keeping quiet. Because most people do not raise their hand and say they don't like being told NO. Most people do not shout out on a group call, finally saying, "Help, the rejection is killing me!"
But almost no one is immune. It's time to deal with the elephant in the room.
Have these questions changed much in the last few decades? Probably not. So, why do the same questions keep getting asked? Maybe it's because people keep expecting a different answer. But one of the biggest answers has to do with the elephant in the room - you know... the one that no one talks about.
And the people who are sitting in the meetings or dialing into the teleconference, are all keeping quiet. Because most people do not raise their hand and say they don't like being told NO. Most people do not shout out on a group call, finally saying, "Help, the rejection is killing me!"
But almost no one is immune. It's time to deal with the elephant in the room.
Monday, May 30, 2011
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Women In Business Radio Monday April 25th
I have literally made about every mistake you can make in business. I forgot what I was saying on stage speaking to a group of 6000 people. I have botched phone calls, messed up marketing materials, screwed up projects, hired the wrong people and made bad decisions and costly mistakes.
On the flip side: I did get hired to speak to 6000 people, fixed mistakes in marketing materials, saved projects at the edge of disaster, learned to deal with clients and suppliers, made great decisions, and made some good money.
I teach people to learn to fail their way to success (to go for no) and myself have had plenty of failures followed by great success. I have literally failed forward and heard lots of No's. I can't wait to share just some of the lessons learned on my journey this Monday with Michele Price on Women in Business!
On the flip side: I did get hired to speak to 6000 people, fixed mistakes in marketing materials, saved projects at the edge of disaster, learned to deal with clients and suppliers, made great decisions, and made some good money.
I teach people to learn to fail their way to success (to go for no) and myself have had plenty of failures followed by great success. I have literally failed forward and heard lots of No's. I can't wait to share just some of the lessons learned on my journey this Monday with Michele Price on Women in Business!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
The Secret of Not Taking it Personally
I don't know about you, but I have almost a pathological desire to be liked by everyone I meet. And while you might not be so extreme I think when people like us, like our product, like our service - it's easy to make it personal because we want to be liked. The truth however, is that no matter how wonderful we are, people's preferences, desires, are their own. We see this when we think about people's preferences for things. All things are neutral. They only have meaning when we put our own "stuff" - preferences onto them.
So it's no surprise then, that when it comes to people NOT liking us, our product, or service we've trained ourselves to also take it personally. This makes sense because if the good stuff is about us then so must the bad be. And when it comes to Go for No, people often ask how they can stop taking the No's personally. It is imperative that you start to understand that you cannot take it personally! This is one of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz:
Don't Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Ultimately the secret is, you can't anything personally. That's right, even the good stuff. Anything means everything. Read The Four Agreements, it can change your life in this area. You can learn to see that all people's perceptions, reactions, etc. are all about them, ironically not about you - and it can free you.
So it's no surprise then, that when it comes to people NOT liking us, our product, or service we've trained ourselves to also take it personally. This makes sense because if the good stuff is about us then so must the bad be. And when it comes to Go for No, people often ask how they can stop taking the No's personally. It is imperative that you start to understand that you cannot take it personally! This is one of The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz:
Don't Take Anything Personally: Nothing others do is because of you. What others say and do is a projection of their own reality, their own dream. When you are immune to the opinions and actions of others, you won't be the victim of needless suffering.
Ultimately the secret is, you can't anything personally. That's right, even the good stuff. Anything means everything. Read The Four Agreements, it can change your life in this area. You can learn to see that all people's perceptions, reactions, etc. are all about them, ironically not about you - and it can free you.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Should You Love NO?
Do you love hearing the word No? Most people don't - in fact, most people hate hearing No! They do everything within their power to avoid hearing No. How? Simple. By avoiding calling and contacting people who they THINK might say no. As it turns out, for many people, that becomes almost everyone! As you can imagine, that is a big issue, right?
First of all, who are we to decide for someone else what their answer will be? In doing so, we rob other people of their opportunity to hear about a service, new product, or interesting offer that could - at the very least make a small improvement to their life... and most - completely change their life!
So, should you fall in love with NO? If you LOVE serving others, if you are in LOVE with the mission you are on... then yes, should love NO... or at least fall into serious "like" with "no!"
First of all, who are we to decide for someone else what their answer will be? In doing so, we rob other people of their opportunity to hear about a service, new product, or interesting offer that could - at the very least make a small improvement to their life... and most - completely change their life!
So, should you fall in love with NO? If you LOVE serving others, if you are in LOVE with the mission you are on... then yes, should love NO... or at least fall into serious "like" with "no!"
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Opportunity May Knock (and Say NO!)
Around 2005, after help from an agent, we had a very close call with a book publisher - a REALLY big one in NYC. A BIG ONE! They were literally about to sign us and our book, "Go for No!"
In fact, we expected an offer to be faxed over with a day or two. However... they had just a couple more questions for us - how big was our "platform" and how big were our audiences, and oh yes -- how many books would we buy?... well, back then even though we had sold somewhere around 30,000 copies of the book, it wasn't quite good enough and at that time we still weren't quite "big" enough for them to take the risk on us. So they passed. That was a BIG NO! We were pretty disappointed but we did not give up on our mission to spread the power of NO!
Now as it turns out, this was just the beginning for our little book. Because although it took another 5 years, we made the Amazon best seller list (in the Sales & Selling niche) and have hovered on the list in the top 10 for the last two years. And as of now, early 2011, we have sold nearly 200,000 copies! We have had the book translated in French, Dutch, German, Chinese, Hindi, Hungarian to name a few. Besides Amazon, we are not in book stores. It was through the support and encouragement of some key people + fantastic word of mouth + relentlessly getting known and getting the word out.
Contrary to what you've heard, opportunity does not knock. YOU knock... and opportunity answers. Unfortunately, it often says, "NO!" Don't give up. Don't let those NO's - even the "BIG" ones, deter you from doing what you believe you were meant to do!
In fact, we expected an offer to be faxed over with a day or two. However... they had just a couple more questions for us - how big was our "platform" and how big were our audiences, and oh yes -- how many books would we buy?... well, back then even though we had sold somewhere around 30,000 copies of the book, it wasn't quite good enough and at that time we still weren't quite "big" enough for them to take the risk on us. So they passed. That was a BIG NO! We were pretty disappointed but we did not give up on our mission to spread the power of NO!
Now as it turns out, this was just the beginning for our little book. Because although it took another 5 years, we made the Amazon best seller list (in the Sales & Selling niche) and have hovered on the list in the top 10 for the last two years. And as of now, early 2011, we have sold nearly 200,000 copies! We have had the book translated in French, Dutch, German, Chinese, Hindi, Hungarian to name a few. Besides Amazon, we are not in book stores. It was through the support and encouragement of some key people + fantastic word of mouth + relentlessly getting known and getting the word out.
Contrary to what you've heard, opportunity does not knock. YOU knock... and opportunity answers. Unfortunately, it often says, "NO!" Don't give up. Don't let those NO's - even the "BIG" ones, deter you from doing what you believe you were meant to do!
Friday, January 14, 2011
How a little NO turned into a BIG YES!
Read a great story courtesy of Bill & Steve Harrison's Reporter Connection. It is a story about a man named Joel Schwartzberg. Joel is the author of The 40-Year-Old Version, a memoir of divorce and parenting his young son. Here is Joel's "Go for No" story as I read it in Steve & Bill's Reporter Connection email:
"Joel wrote an essay and pitched it to the editor of Newsweek's "My Turn" section. The editor said "no" to the essay, but she liked one specific paragraph. Joel took that paragraph and wrote a new essay around it. The subject: post-partum depression in men. The new essay ran in Newsweek. Two years later, the Journal of the American Medical Association published a report about that subject. Looking for commentary, producers Googled "post-partum depression in men," and Joel's Newsweek piece came up in every search. As a result, Joel got booked on Good Morning America, CNN and NPR. And it's all because he turned a "no" into a Newsweek piece."
I appreciate Carol, an editor at Reporter Connection allowing us to re- tell this. There will always be failures and rejections and you just never know what "no" will bring your way!
"Joel wrote an essay and pitched it to the editor of Newsweek's "My Turn" section. The editor said "no" to the essay, but she liked one specific paragraph. Joel took that paragraph and wrote a new essay around it. The subject: post-partum depression in men. The new essay ran in Newsweek. Two years later, the Journal of the American Medical Association published a report about that subject. Looking for commentary, producers Googled "post-partum depression in men," and Joel's Newsweek piece came up in every search. As a result, Joel got booked on Good Morning America, CNN and NPR. And it's all because he turned a "no" into a Newsweek piece."
I appreciate Carol, an editor at Reporter Connection allowing us to re- tell this. There will always be failures and rejections and you just never know what "no" will bring your way!
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